Wednesday
At $2 a day? Hell yeah I'll stay another! Nick got up at about the same time the sun turned my tent into a sauna and pushed me out. We exchanged info, I got a picture, and he was off on the 50 mile ride home. A good guy; glad he was there.
Nothing much else to mention other than the fact I took my first shower since the day I left Santa Fe. To me anyhow, that was a MAJOR development. Another bike tourist came thru and stayed, an older guy who I tried to chat up but seemed to me to be an old paranoid hippie. The rest of the day was spent tending to my feet, collecting firewood from the unused campsites and the beach, rather than paying the Wood Nazi $or a bundle! I charged my cell phone at his little setup, and he went on and on telling me how the wood was brought in by a contractor and that's why it was so expensive. Typical. I wanted to laugh at him and ask why exactly I should be expected to pay for something I can just walk around and pick up. I let it go.
The full moon rose at about 10:00 while I was tending my fire, and it was AMAZING! I even got my little point- and- click to get some photos of it.
I chatted briefly with the neighbors about the abundance of law enforcement driving thru the campground (Well, 2 cars- I needed a conversation starter) and went to sleep.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
6/17: San Simeon Beach State Park
I woke up at what appears to be my new usual time: 8:30. I slept well but woke up still pissed off at myself for my field- folly and losing SOG. I made a cup of nasty coffee then got up to answer nature’s call. I took about 4 steps to the other side of the bush, and guess what I saw…
SOG!
I had slept literally 10 feet from it! There was NO way in heck I should have found that thing. NONE! Considering where it could have been lost AND my aimless wanderings and inability to find my original trails, it should have been gone. I know some people think life is full of silly coincidences. I’m not one of them. Remember when I said that when I met Pat, I wasn’t making a conscious decision? The same thing happened with my meandering path back to the SOG reunion… and would recur later in the week.
A great start to the day.
I got out of Cambria pretty much as expected, after charging my cell phone and taking my time getting out of town. My feet were bugging me quite a bit with blisters after wandering around in the fields the night before with feet soaked by the river the night before, so I set the modest goal of getting to the Hike & Bike supposedly a couple miles up the road. I wasn't really sure rather to trust the info and some people had said that many of these handy little outposts were shut down, so I packed extra water making the pack heavier and bugging the blisters even more. Just a nuisance really, but a constant one!
It occurred to me as I started out that I was FINALLY getting on to Hwy 1. I wasn't going to hitch; just walk no matter how long it took. The scenery and sounds/ smells of the ocean right off the road was hypnotizing. I stopped several times to take pictures and just enjoy it. The weather on the California Coast is surprisingly cool. Low- mid 70's for the most part because of the north- to- south currents bringing colder water from Alaska as cooling things. This is especially true in the evening and at night. It's as though there's a natural air conditioner!
Eventually, I had gotten far enough that when I 'crossed the bridge' the guy had told me about, the right turn was into a State Park. I initially thought the guy was a´n idiot for not simply saying there's a park up there and that there would indeed be NO Hike & Bike, but to my pleasant surprise there WAS one there. For $2 a night! Two fricking dollars! Plus ´there were showers and access to the ocean. I was quite pleased.
I set up camp enjoying the fact that I wasn't stumbling thru a field to do it nor was I hiding from anyone!
Shortly after I was settled in, a bike tourist came in and began setting up his camp. We got to chatting and I learned that he was from Arroyo Grande, which is 50 miles south, a bit past San Luis Obispo. His name is Nick, and it turned out we had a lot in common. He had recently decided to quit his job with a map company because he simply hated the 9-5 life. When he tried to resign, the owner asked him if he just wanted to do it 6- months out of the year- giving him Spring/ Summer off. Good for him! So, he's off until October and was at San Simeon on an overnight bike trip. I built a nice fire from the extra wood people had left lying around, and we just chatted and watched the nearly full moon until midnight or so. A VERY enjoyable night, no doubt.
SOG!
I had slept literally 10 feet from it! There was NO way in heck I should have found that thing. NONE! Considering where it could have been lost AND my aimless wanderings and inability to find my original trails, it should have been gone. I know some people think life is full of silly coincidences. I’m not one of them. Remember when I said that when I met Pat, I wasn’t making a conscious decision? The same thing happened with my meandering path back to the SOG reunion… and would recur later in the week.
A great start to the day.
I got out of Cambria pretty much as expected, after charging my cell phone and taking my time getting out of town. My feet were bugging me quite a bit with blisters after wandering around in the fields the night before with feet soaked by the river the night before, so I set the modest goal of getting to the Hike & Bike supposedly a couple miles up the road. I wasn't really sure rather to trust the info and some people had said that many of these handy little outposts were shut down, so I packed extra water making the pack heavier and bugging the blisters even more. Just a nuisance really, but a constant one!
It occurred to me as I started out that I was FINALLY getting on to Hwy 1. I wasn't going to hitch; just walk no matter how long it took. The scenery and sounds/ smells of the ocean right off the road was hypnotizing. I stopped several times to take pictures and just enjoy it. The weather on the California Coast is surprisingly cool. Low- mid 70's for the most part because of the north- to- south currents bringing colder water from Alaska as cooling things. This is especially true in the evening and at night. It's as though there's a natural air conditioner!
Eventually, I had gotten far enough that when I 'crossed the bridge' the guy had told me about, the right turn was into a State Park. I initially thought the guy was a´n idiot for not simply saying there's a park up there and that there would indeed be NO Hike & Bike, but to my pleasant surprise there WAS one there. For $2 a night! Two fricking dollars! Plus ´there were showers and access to the ocean. I was quite pleased.
I set up camp enjoying the fact that I wasn't stumbling thru a field to do it nor was I hiding from anyone!
Shortly after I was settled in, a bike tourist came in and began setting up his camp. We got to chatting and I learned that he was from Arroyo Grande, which is 50 miles south, a bit past San Luis Obispo. His name is Nick, and it turned out we had a lot in common. He had recently decided to quit his job with a map company because he simply hated the 9-5 life. When he tried to resign, the owner asked him if he just wanted to do it 6- months out of the year- giving him Spring/ Summer off. Good for him! So, he's off until October and was at San Simeon on an overnight bike trip. I built a nice fire from the extra wood people had left lying around, and we just chatted and watched the nearly full moon until midnight or so. A VERY enjoyable night, no doubt.
Labels:
Blister,
California,
Cambria CA,
Hike n Bike,
Hwy. 1,
Nick Sanders,
San Simeon State Park CA
Monday, June 16, 2008
6/16: San Luis Obispo to Cambria
Pat woke up at about 4:30 to relocate the RV from the Distribution Center back to the parking lot where we originally met. We slept a few more hours then got up, had some coffee and chatted a bit more before I started packing up my stuff to hike toward the library to upload pictures and update this. While I was packing my things up outside Pat saw his ‘boss’ spying on us from the bank parking lot. He came over and told Pat that I ‘couldn’t be there’. After the conversations we had the night before about ‘throw- away people, this pissed me off royally! You’re worth nothing in this country unless you’re lining someone’s pockets with your cash. I kept my mouth shut for Pat’s sake, and for that reason alone, but it would have been nice to ask that Fascist exactly what I was hurting!
Pat gave me general directions to the library, we exchanged information, and I hike toward downtown feeling grateful I had had the chance to spend some time with someone so real who had so much to offer.
After about an hour I came upon the library only to find it was CLOSED! On a MONDAY! Not just this Monday; every Monday. And not just this branch, EVERY damn library in the state thanks to what one guy called Arnie’s Budget Cuts. Apparently California’s not so fiscally sound. This set the tone for my short time in San Luis Obispo, henceforth called SLO so I seem hip.
I figured since I was downtown I’d try to find a used bookstore to get a map of SLO County, and a Laundromat to cleanse my dirty self. The map I found, but when I went into the Visitor Center to ask about the Laundromat, I was informed that Laundromats aren’t ‘Chamber Members’ and, since they don’t let the Chamber of Commerce extort money from them, no information was to be had about their locale. Let’s see if I have this straight…
Visitors Centers aren’t centers to provide information for tourists about attractions and services to be found in these towns. Their places to funnel clueless visitors into ONLY the places that pay them to refer those who don’t know any better. Sound about right? The Chamber of Commerce can kiss Todd’s ass. I’ve dealt with these sweaty, slimy people for years when they came into the radio stations to use the airwaves to prostitute themselves. Never have I had much good to say about them and now I know my instincts were right. If I see a ‘Chamber Member’ sign in the door, I’m walking on by- Fascists!
One good thing that came from that visit is that I became aware of the best part of SLO: mass transit. I found that I could take a bus from SLO to Morro Bay, a good 15 miles, for $1.25- NICE! So, I did. Funny thing happened too… they dropped me off a block from the Laundromat! HAHA!! Clean clothes for me!
I did my laundry and tried unsuccessfully to find Internet access for less than $7 an hour. I began to walk to the north along Main St., which ran parallel to Hwy 1 and realized the bus continued to go further north. I called, got the schedule and pickup point, and plopped down on the bench for about 2 hours waiting. A long time yes, but worth it because it would take me all the way to Hearst Castle if I wanted it too and I wasn’t encouraged by how far the Morro Bay Sprawl seemed to go.
I eventually got on the shuttle and asked the people on the bus for information about where to get food and water, They all said Cambria was my best bet, and one guy told me there was a Hike N Bike a couple miles north of Cambria where I could camp for like $3 a night. All about that! I took their advice and got off at the grocery store, taking a bag of cherries that were given to me by my new info- giving friend. God they were good!
I went into the store and loaded up on tortillas, peanut butter and Cliff bars and was off, I thought, toward the campground. But somewhere along the way I thought it a good idea to stay close to town so I could get the Internet access the next day not knowing when my next chance would be. Fateful decision.
I started looking for a place to camp, first on a bike path then through a nature preserve. I followed a creek as far As I could until I either had to cross it or turn around. I should have turned around. But… it didn’t look so deep so in I went… out I came with soaked feet. I wasn’t too worried about it because in front of me was a HUGE field that looked promising (see pics) and I was sure I’d find a place there. I did. I found about 200 of them, but for whatever reason I kept looking and looking for something better. Just couldn’t choose. It was getting steadily darker and as it was I traversed the WHOLE field, and I mean to tell you it was HUGE!
Eventually I found myself back on the other side of the creek (uselessly wet feet!) near a church. I must have walked another 3 ½ miles needlessly and the wet shoes were causing my feet to blister much more quickly than normal. I stopped right next to the church, pissed off at myself and decided that I’d just find a suitable place to throw down the Thermarest and sleeping bag. When I found it I looked down and noticed my SOG multi tool was gone!! Now, this made me sick! Not only was it expensive, but useful as hell! I called myself everything in the world but a white male, and hoofed it back toward the church with my head lamp hoping against hope I’d find it… across another smaller field this time! Of course there was nothing and I lamented my lost friend, and lost money. While I was next to the church I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask God, whatever He is, to help me find it. Still nothing. At this point… and here it is again… I just went numb in my mind and began walking; just as I had the night before when I'd met Pat. I walked all the way back across that field… again… not really following a set route; just walking. I was just compelled to do it and was thinking that if I went with it I’d find my little friend. It turns out I didn’t, but I found my nesting spot for the night and went to sleep really mad at myself…
Pat gave me general directions to the library, we exchanged information, and I hike toward downtown feeling grateful I had had the chance to spend some time with someone so real who had so much to offer.
After about an hour I came upon the library only to find it was CLOSED! On a MONDAY! Not just this Monday; every Monday. And not just this branch, EVERY damn library in the state thanks to what one guy called Arnie’s Budget Cuts. Apparently California’s not so fiscally sound. This set the tone for my short time in San Luis Obispo, henceforth called SLO so I seem hip.
I figured since I was downtown I’d try to find a used bookstore to get a map of SLO County, and a Laundromat to cleanse my dirty self. The map I found, but when I went into the Visitor Center to ask about the Laundromat, I was informed that Laundromats aren’t ‘Chamber Members’ and, since they don’t let the Chamber of Commerce extort money from them, no information was to be had about their locale. Let’s see if I have this straight…
Visitors Centers aren’t centers to provide information for tourists about attractions and services to be found in these towns. Their places to funnel clueless visitors into ONLY the places that pay them to refer those who don’t know any better. Sound about right? The Chamber of Commerce can kiss Todd’s ass. I’ve dealt with these sweaty, slimy people for years when they came into the radio stations to use the airwaves to prostitute themselves. Never have I had much good to say about them and now I know my instincts were right. If I see a ‘Chamber Member’ sign in the door, I’m walking on by- Fascists!
One good thing that came from that visit is that I became aware of the best part of SLO: mass transit. I found that I could take a bus from SLO to Morro Bay, a good 15 miles, for $1.25- NICE! So, I did. Funny thing happened too… they dropped me off a block from the Laundromat! HAHA!! Clean clothes for me!
I did my laundry and tried unsuccessfully to find Internet access for less than $7 an hour. I began to walk to the north along Main St., which ran parallel to Hwy 1 and realized the bus continued to go further north. I called, got the schedule and pickup point, and plopped down on the bench for about 2 hours waiting. A long time yes, but worth it because it would take me all the way to Hearst Castle if I wanted it too and I wasn’t encouraged by how far the Morro Bay Sprawl seemed to go.
I eventually got on the shuttle and asked the people on the bus for information about where to get food and water, They all said Cambria was my best bet, and one guy told me there was a Hike N Bike a couple miles north of Cambria where I could camp for like $3 a night. All about that! I took their advice and got off at the grocery store, taking a bag of cherries that were given to me by my new info- giving friend. God they were good!
I went into the store and loaded up on tortillas, peanut butter and Cliff bars and was off, I thought, toward the campground. But somewhere along the way I thought it a good idea to stay close to town so I could get the Internet access the next day not knowing when my next chance would be. Fateful decision.
I started looking for a place to camp, first on a bike path then through a nature preserve. I followed a creek as far As I could until I either had to cross it or turn around. I should have turned around. But… it didn’t look so deep so in I went… out I came with soaked feet. I wasn’t too worried about it because in front of me was a HUGE field that looked promising (see pics) and I was sure I’d find a place there. I did. I found about 200 of them, but for whatever reason I kept looking and looking for something better. Just couldn’t choose. It was getting steadily darker and as it was I traversed the WHOLE field, and I mean to tell you it was HUGE!
Eventually I found myself back on the other side of the creek (uselessly wet feet!) near a church. I must have walked another 3 ½ miles needlessly and the wet shoes were causing my feet to blister much more quickly than normal. I stopped right next to the church, pissed off at myself and decided that I’d just find a suitable place to throw down the Thermarest and sleeping bag. When I found it I looked down and noticed my SOG multi tool was gone!! Now, this made me sick! Not only was it expensive, but useful as hell! I called myself everything in the world but a white male, and hoofed it back toward the church with my head lamp hoping against hope I’d find it… across another smaller field this time! Of course there was nothing and I lamented my lost friend, and lost money. While I was next to the church I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask God, whatever He is, to help me find it. Still nothing. At this point… and here it is again… I just went numb in my mind and began walking; just as I had the night before when I'd met Pat. I walked all the way back across that field… again… not really following a set route; just walking. I was just compelled to do it and was thinking that if I went with it I’d find my little friend. It turns out I didn’t, but I found my nesting spot for the night and went to sleep really mad at myself…
Labels:
Blister,
California,
Cambria CA,
Morro Bay CA,
Pat,
San Luis Obispo CA
Sunday, June 15, 2008
6/14-15: San Luis Obispo: Pat
In a rush again! These library policies can kiss my butt!
I did indeed leave Santa Barbara on Saturday. I decided to try to walk the beaches as far as they take me, but neglected to take TIDES into account! Almost got pinned in against a cliff after sitting on the rocks enjoying the views for about an hour.
I find out later that the off- shore oil wells pump 'tar' into the water that winds up on the beaches. Guess what I was sitting in while on the rocks! My pants are hosed...
It was an enjoyable day though. After I left the beach, I took some trails along the cliff edges and around a golf course and found where Hwy. 101 meets up with the main drag. I didn't feel like hitching, or hopping on the freeway so I crossed some train tracks, and followed an unknown road until I saw a sign for a public beach that was adjacent to the Bacara Resort. Quite an upscale place, so I got some funny looks from some of the very few people I did see, but they were nice.
Eventually, as dusk came along, and I finally did something I've always wanted to do. Build a campfire on the Pacific Coast. Not really sure why, but I was ecstatic! I called everyone I knew to make sure they understood how happy I was.
I was going to camp on the beach, but following the advice of some other bonfireists I climbed a hill at about 12:30am, and simply climbed under a pine tree with just the Thermarest. I eventually dug out the sleeping bag and slept quite nicely!
Sunday was spent sitting on the beach for the first 4-5 hours of the day enjoying the day. That's the nice part about having no schedules to keep, or places to get to. You can look around at where you are. I laid out the socks and shoes to dry, and eventually decided to try my luck on Hwy. 101 and get a bit further north. i had been fighting tendinitis on the top of my left foot that was triggered I came to discover by my inserts. I decided to take it easy for a day or two and give it a chance to recover.
I got to 101 and walked for a couple miles until the freeway designation ended, then thumbed it. After about 30 minutes a woman turned around and offered to take me as far as San Jose. She was nice enough, but annoying. There was no way was staying in that car to the San Fran sprawl! So, I asked her to let me off in San Luis Obispo and she did after buying me Burger King.
I went into the gas station, and loaded up on water thinking I'd be walking and camping, but as it turns out I went about 2 blocks until I ran into a Goodwill Donation Center that was staffed by a guy in an RV. I didn't really make a rational or conscious decision, but I just turned left and crossed the road to chat with the guy and maybe get some information on what lie ahead, and where to camp for the night.
Pat was a bit leery of me at first, but warmed up quickly when he figured out that I wasn't in search of money, booze, or cigarettes. I told him what I was up to, and as it turned out he had done his share of hitchhiking and used to ride Harley's all over the place with his late wife. After maybe 5 minutes of chatting he wound up inviting me to stay with him in his little RV for the night. I was a bit apprehensive at first; hearing Surplus Supply Dennis' warnings about how crazy the 'homos' in California are and how they like hitchhikers. Dennis is an idiot. Eventually, Friar Chris and Walkingman Gary's voices won out, and I took him up on it.
Pat wasn't living in his RV. He had a place in North San Luis Obispo County, but 60 miles away. With gas quickly approaching $5/ gal., he simply could not afford to make the commute so he slept in his RV parked between 2 trailers at the Goodwill Distribution Center, and went to his regular job from there. He is 60 now, and had a hard time finding work after having to go on disability for his knees because no one wanted to take on the liability when they could just hire a younger person to drive trucks. He had even a harder time getting help from the state. As he put it, if you're between 55 and 65, and haven#t 'made it', you're expendable and thrown away. That may sound melodramatic to those who thrive on exploiting the poor for profit, or believe in the predatory capitalist system, but I've seen other examples first hand, including my own mother. Pat lost his wife in the early 90's, and ever since and by his own admission has been lost. He has children who are quite successful, but he refuses to burden them with his troubles, because as he said they'd go ballistic to know their father's living in an RV with no bathroom.
I'm really developing a great disdain for you 'economic predators' who thrive at the expense of the poor while hiding beneath the shade tree of law, policy, and worse yet 'The American Way'.
These are the things we talked about all night. I loved it. Along the way I realized I'd neglected to tighten Chris' Boca bag lid all the way, and as a result soaked all my clothes, among other things, in my pack. Pat offered to take me to the laundromat, and while we were there we ran into a guy who was about my age and absolutely blindly proud of his ignorance. He walked into the laundromat strutting proudly and saying 'Whuddup Dogg' to everyone. I wanted to grab him by the throat and punch him in the eye, but didn't. I just said 'woof' and glared at him, trying to make it VERY obvious I wanted him to stay away from me. I REALLY wasn't in the mood to deal with a 40 year old guy with the mental capacity and maturity of a 13 year old, and my testosterone level had risen to the point that I would have hurt him if he provoked me. That sort of surprised me! Pat was sitting in the RV it turns out watching the whole thing. When the guy decided to smoke his blunt on at the front door and start prancing around like he thought he was Snoop Dogg I had just about had enough of him. Fortunately, the clothes were dry and I was ready to go. When I got in the RV Pat said something to the effect of 'looked like you were about to kick that little F####rs ass, and I was about to join you!'
We got on very well before this, but after Pat really seemed to warm up to me. He has the same, as Bruno defines it, 'thirst for authenticity' as I do. I can tolerate almost anyone who's who they are, to a point, but have next to no tolerance for fronts and displays. Our conversations were fantastic as we half- watched SNL on his 4'' TV and finally got to sleep at about 1am. Pat has had an interesting life, and is madly proud of the fact that all he wants to do is work and 'find his place in old age'. I respect the hell out of that. It's hard to do though when your body fails and no one within your vocation will hire you and get no state support as a thank you for paying taxes for 40+ years.
I really felt grateful that I had crossed that road because the perspective he offered me was priceless. There'd be more of that to come later in the week... guidance from somewhere; seeming coincidences that defy logic...
I did indeed leave Santa Barbara on Saturday. I decided to try to walk the beaches as far as they take me, but neglected to take TIDES into account! Almost got pinned in against a cliff after sitting on the rocks enjoying the views for about an hour.
I find out later that the off- shore oil wells pump 'tar' into the water that winds up on the beaches. Guess what I was sitting in while on the rocks! My pants are hosed...
It was an enjoyable day though. After I left the beach, I took some trails along the cliff edges and around a golf course and found where Hwy. 101 meets up with the main drag. I didn't feel like hitching, or hopping on the freeway so I crossed some train tracks, and followed an unknown road until I saw a sign for a public beach that was adjacent to the Bacara Resort. Quite an upscale place, so I got some funny looks from some of the very few people I did see, but they were nice.
Eventually, as dusk came along, and I finally did something I've always wanted to do. Build a campfire on the Pacific Coast. Not really sure why, but I was ecstatic! I called everyone I knew to make sure they understood how happy I was.
I was going to camp on the beach, but following the advice of some other bonfireists I climbed a hill at about 12:30am, and simply climbed under a pine tree with just the Thermarest. I eventually dug out the sleeping bag and slept quite nicely!
Sunday was spent sitting on the beach for the first 4-5 hours of the day enjoying the day. That's the nice part about having no schedules to keep, or places to get to. You can look around at where you are. I laid out the socks and shoes to dry, and eventually decided to try my luck on Hwy. 101 and get a bit further north. i had been fighting tendinitis on the top of my left foot that was triggered I came to discover by my inserts. I decided to take it easy for a day or two and give it a chance to recover.
I got to 101 and walked for a couple miles until the freeway designation ended, then thumbed it. After about 30 minutes a woman turned around and offered to take me as far as San Jose. She was nice enough, but annoying. There was no way was staying in that car to the San Fran sprawl! So, I asked her to let me off in San Luis Obispo and she did after buying me Burger King.
I went into the gas station, and loaded up on water thinking I'd be walking and camping, but as it turns out I went about 2 blocks until I ran into a Goodwill Donation Center that was staffed by a guy in an RV. I didn't really make a rational or conscious decision, but I just turned left and crossed the road to chat with the guy and maybe get some information on what lie ahead, and where to camp for the night.
Pat was a bit leery of me at first, but warmed up quickly when he figured out that I wasn't in search of money, booze, or cigarettes. I told him what I was up to, and as it turned out he had done his share of hitchhiking and used to ride Harley's all over the place with his late wife. After maybe 5 minutes of chatting he wound up inviting me to stay with him in his little RV for the night. I was a bit apprehensive at first; hearing Surplus Supply Dennis' warnings about how crazy the 'homos' in California are and how they like hitchhikers. Dennis is an idiot. Eventually, Friar Chris and Walkingman Gary's voices won out, and I took him up on it.
Pat wasn't living in his RV. He had a place in North San Luis Obispo County, but 60 miles away. With gas quickly approaching $5/ gal., he simply could not afford to make the commute so he slept in his RV parked between 2 trailers at the Goodwill Distribution Center, and went to his regular job from there. He is 60 now, and had a hard time finding work after having to go on disability for his knees because no one wanted to take on the liability when they could just hire a younger person to drive trucks. He had even a harder time getting help from the state. As he put it, if you're between 55 and 65, and haven#t 'made it', you're expendable and thrown away. That may sound melodramatic to those who thrive on exploiting the poor for profit, or believe in the predatory capitalist system, but I've seen other examples first hand, including my own mother. Pat lost his wife in the early 90's, and ever since and by his own admission has been lost. He has children who are quite successful, but he refuses to burden them with his troubles, because as he said they'd go ballistic to know their father's living in an RV with no bathroom.
I'm really developing a great disdain for you 'economic predators' who thrive at the expense of the poor while hiding beneath the shade tree of law, policy, and worse yet 'The American Way'.
These are the things we talked about all night. I loved it. Along the way I realized I'd neglected to tighten Chris' Boca bag lid all the way, and as a result soaked all my clothes, among other things, in my pack. Pat offered to take me to the laundromat, and while we were there we ran into a guy who was about my age and absolutely blindly proud of his ignorance. He walked into the laundromat strutting proudly and saying 'Whuddup Dogg' to everyone. I wanted to grab him by the throat and punch him in the eye, but didn't. I just said 'woof' and glared at him, trying to make it VERY obvious I wanted him to stay away from me. I REALLY wasn't in the mood to deal with a 40 year old guy with the mental capacity and maturity of a 13 year old, and my testosterone level had risen to the point that I would have hurt him if he provoked me. That sort of surprised me! Pat was sitting in the RV it turns out watching the whole thing. When the guy decided to smoke his blunt on at the front door and start prancing around like he thought he was Snoop Dogg I had just about had enough of him. Fortunately, the clothes were dry and I was ready to go. When I got in the RV Pat said something to the effect of 'looked like you were about to kick that little F####rs ass, and I was about to join you!'
We got on very well before this, but after Pat really seemed to warm up to me. He has the same, as Bruno defines it, 'thirst for authenticity' as I do. I can tolerate almost anyone who's who they are, to a point, but have next to no tolerance for fronts and displays. Our conversations were fantastic as we half- watched SNL on his 4'' TV and finally got to sleep at about 1am. Pat has had an interesting life, and is madly proud of the fact that all he wants to do is work and 'find his place in old age'. I respect the hell out of that. It's hard to do though when your body fails and no one within your vocation will hire you and get no state support as a thank you for paying taxes for 40+ years.
I really felt grateful that I had crossed that road because the perspective he offered me was priceless. There'd be more of that to come later in the week... guidance from somewhere; seeming coincidences that defy logic...
Labels:
Beach Camping,
California,
Pacific Ocean,
Pat,
San Luis Obispo CA,
Synchronicity,
US-101
Saturday, June 14, 2008
6/14: Santa Barbara
In a bit of a hurry again! Yesterday was incredible. I met up with my Couchsurfing host, Chris, at the library when she got out of work and she brought me along on an INCREDIBLE Sierra Club hike that she was taking into the Santa Barbara foothills. It was a pretty steep hike, but the conversation with Chris and her friends coupled with the vistas were terrific! I wish the pics of the coast has come out better, but I was thrilled to be up there!
We then came to her house in Isla Vista near UCSB where she was hosting a potluck and I got caught up on my phone calls. Chris and her were excellent hosts, and her friends, including the couple we went to hang out with after the potluck, made me feel like I have been in Santa Barbara for years.
I managed to take the 2 minute walk down to the Oceanside last night, and with the moon reflecting off the water realized that I had gotten "there". It was awesome!
Not sure what's happening today. I connected with another Couchsurfer who's taking a hike near Ojai overnight and invited me to come and camp out with him. if I can get around in time, I think I'll take him up on it!
Santa Barbara's been great, and has become one of my favorite places in the short time I've been here. Good choice!!
We then came to her house in Isla Vista near UCSB where she was hosting a potluck and I got caught up on my phone calls. Chris and her were excellent hosts, and her friends, including the couple we went to hang out with after the potluck, made me feel like I have been in Santa Barbara for years.
I managed to take the 2 minute walk down to the Oceanside last night, and with the moon reflecting off the water realized that I had gotten "there". It was awesome!
Not sure what's happening today. I connected with another Couchsurfer who's taking a hike near Ojai overnight and invited me to come and camp out with him. if I can get around in time, I think I'll take him up on it!
Santa Barbara's been great, and has become one of my favorite places in the short time I've been here. Good choice!!
 |
| California |
Labels:
Chris,
Couchsurfing,
Isla Vista
Friday, June 13, 2008
6/13: Friday the 13th on the California Coast
Day 11
Santa Barbara, CA
Arrived in Santa Barbara this afternoon after about 25 hours on the Amtrak. Funny how this decision came about, but glad it did! The ride here via the Southwest Chief and the Surfliner was fine; relaxing. Gave me time to think a bit and would have helped me to get prepared, but I'm already there. Weird.
I did spend 3 hours at Union Station in LA, and about an hour chatting up a guy who claimed he used to be Alice Cooper's guitarist. It appeared to me that everyone near Alameda St. downtown was a musician in, at least in their own minds if not reality. He was a decent guy though, and actually enjoyed the chat.
This part of California is amazing! Definitely not disappointed with the scenery, and there are state beaches everywhere from what I could see on the train. Better than Florida in the respect that both the temps and humidity are lower. Santa Barbara is clean beyond imagination, and reminds me a bit of St. Augustine, without the 600 year old buildings. Probably better comparisons to be made, but I'm in a hurry. Only 30 minutes at the library.
I'm staying with a Couchsurfer tonight who happened to work here at the library, so no drama meeting up with her. She and her husband have 2 boys, 17 & 21. She's taking me on a hike w/ some Sierra Club friends into the foothills when she gets out, then I was invited to take part in a potluck she happens to be hosting tonight. Free Food!! yay!!
I'll try to get out of town early tomorrow, unless I can find another host. Santa Barbara is worth seeing more than just a quick walk thru. Interesting people it would seem also. I was just given the most in- depth conspiracy theory I've ever heard while waiting for the computer!
I'll let ya know...
Santa Barbara, CA
Arrived in Santa Barbara this afternoon after about 25 hours on the Amtrak. Funny how this decision came about, but glad it did! The ride here via the Southwest Chief and the Surfliner was fine; relaxing. Gave me time to think a bit and would have helped me to get prepared, but I'm already there. Weird.
I did spend 3 hours at Union Station in LA, and about an hour chatting up a guy who claimed he used to be Alice Cooper's guitarist. It appeared to me that everyone near Alameda St. downtown was a musician in, at least in their own minds if not reality. He was a decent guy though, and actually enjoyed the chat.
This part of California is amazing! Definitely not disappointed with the scenery, and there are state beaches everywhere from what I could see on the train. Better than Florida in the respect that both the temps and humidity are lower. Santa Barbara is clean beyond imagination, and reminds me a bit of St. Augustine, without the 600 year old buildings. Probably better comparisons to be made, but I'm in a hurry. Only 30 minutes at the library.
I'm staying with a Couchsurfer tonight who happened to work here at the library, so no drama meeting up with her. She and her husband have 2 boys, 17 & 21. She's taking me on a hike w/ some Sierra Club friends into the foothills when she gets out, then I was invited to take part in a potluck she happens to be hosting tonight. Free Food!! yay!!
I'll try to get out of town early tomorrow, unless I can find another host. Santa Barbara is worth seeing more than just a quick walk thru. Interesting people it would seem also. I was just given the most in- depth conspiracy theory I've ever heard while waiting for the computer!
I'll let ya know...
Labels:
Amtrak,
California,
Couchsurfing,
Los Angeles,
Santa Barbara CA
Thursday, June 12, 2008
6/12: Changing Santas
I'm back at it... finally. Stay tuned for where, but here's a lyrical hint:
"... all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray...."
I'll update again Friday or Saturday. Hope you're well!
"... all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray...."
I'll update again Friday or Saturday. Hope you're well!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
6/5: Santa Fe- Metaphorical Whirlpool
Ever get that feeling as though something bound to your leg dragging you to the bottom of a lake? Santa Fe feels that way, much the same way Hillsdale did 11 years ago. It's a very difficult place to escape from once it has you in it's grip.
I really intended to leave yesterday, and was packed to do so, but circumstances here are a bit-- tense. Shalain is moving on the 15th, and she's had a harder time than imagined finding a place to move TO, and even getting some of the idiots that live here to even return phone calls... on their own rentals! I essentially didn't know what I was returning to. So I've gotten involved in helping her find a place, pack, and essentially deal with others complacency. Not how I pictured my week going.
Something I've never been able to grasp: the "Land of Manana" thing; procrastination on steroids. It's initially quaint. Then infuriating. Especially when you're actually trying to get something done. That's why it took 3 weeks to get phone service in Taos, 5 weeks for (crappy) Internet, why our land- line went out every time it rained and no-one from Qwest would bother to do anything about it until it began making phantom 911 calls (we canceled service), and on and on.
But it looks as though I'll be setting off soon. By Sunday. Every thing's still packed and waiting, and the positive aspect of this little sojourn is that I've reinforced my attitudes and my motivation is higher than ever, although of course I'm fighting the 'comfortability' of familiar surroundings.
Time to vent.
I've gotten emails from a few people who have chastised me for coming back here so soon. Remember however how easy it is to judge some one else's actions wile sitting in your own comfy chair! It's obvious that to some people this is reality TV, and I get that. However, this isn't fabricated drama written to increase viewership or solely provide entertainment. If I wanted to keep producing that shit, I'd have stayed in radio and be eating much better!
The tricky thing about publicly documenting this is that you have to be careful whose insight you value and learn to take the opinions of the others with a smile. I always ask myself how much the 'Reality Show Couch Critics' are putting out there, and rather they'd welcome the same type of critique in their own lives if their ideas were laid open for the world to see.
No. Of course not! They be indignant! It's easy to criticize someone else's work when you're doing none of your own, eh?
I saw this coming because Chris went through similar stuff on his trip. It's the problem with the anonymity of email and the illusion that you're reading some fictitious travel- novel, or watching some fluff- piece on the Travel Channel. I welcome opinions, don't get me wrong. But, I'd encourage you to offer something personal from your own life up for critique if you presume to dissect mine. Or at least be constructive and offer some original insight as a companion to 'opinion'.
Feeling a bit defensive today, ain't I?
On that note, I REALLY should have left early Monday morning!
I've had a chance to contemplate a lot of things over the past few days through the "Sweet Perspective of Melancholy". (How dramatic!) It's pretty apparent to me that, despite what YOU may think about my Interlude, this trip is going to define much more than I even realized- and this is a big part of it.
The prospects of returning to Santa Fe after this is 'done' seem smaller than before. Shalain's adapting to and preparing herself for that; something I sensed even before I left Denver the first time. No one can blame her for that, and I'm GLAD she is! She's growing roots into the High Desert, and it seems as though mine are slowly being pulled from amongst the sage. She says that she noticed the 'feeling alive' part (previous post)of my short little adventure so far, and she expects this to last much longer than we'd discussed, or I even expected.
This coming from the woman who saw my Epic Bike Tour last 3 days! And most of the other plans I've made over the past 4 years fall to oblivion.
She also seems to think that in the end I'll return to Denver, while she has NO intention of leaving here. I want to argue, and I rightly point out that nothings been decided but my contradictory arguments are prefaced with: 'You may be right- I've thought about that'.
Sometimes people just grow apart, and the realization that you want different things is tough to digest, especially after seven years. I'm afraid that this may be exactly what's happening, and this is the crescendo of our personal overture that's been building since August, 2004.
"I told you!!"
Shut the hell up. Or I'm coming to live with you and I'll offer uninformed commentary on what YOU should do!
But, things can change. I've been a testament to that gospel many times since 5/20.
If this does happen, and we go our separate ways, I'm glad it was done in the right way. Not out of anger which is usually the case, but out of a mutual respect for what each other wants out of life and what we believe their lives should mean. We both want what's best for the other person AND ourselves. For that I'm glad. Now we'll see how this plays out indefinitely...
As for the next chapter on the road, I've begun to consider going east again... WAY East. Florida to see my daughter. US 17 is a great road in E. Georgia and S. Carolina that's runs closely to US 1- which takes you all the way through Maine. Then there's New Hampshire/ Vermont and a road that runs along the Hudson River into Mass. Then maybe Chris's friend Gus could be added to my ever- growing yet non- existent list. I believe I'll probably figure out a way to get to I-40, and take stock and follow my Indian name I was given while, of all things, I was working as a carnie: Runs With the Wind.
What a great story that was... maybe I'll pass it along sometime. I mean really, how many of you have had a spiritual experience as a traveling carnival worker in New Orleans?
Anyone? Anyone? Dyson? Anyone?
I really intended to leave yesterday, and was packed to do so, but circumstances here are a bit-- tense. Shalain is moving on the 15th, and she's had a harder time than imagined finding a place to move TO, and even getting some of the idiots that live here to even return phone calls... on their own rentals! I essentially didn't know what I was returning to. So I've gotten involved in helping her find a place, pack, and essentially deal with others complacency. Not how I pictured my week going.
Something I've never been able to grasp: the "Land of Manana" thing; procrastination on steroids. It's initially quaint. Then infuriating. Especially when you're actually trying to get something done. That's why it took 3 weeks to get phone service in Taos, 5 weeks for (crappy) Internet, why our land- line went out every time it rained and no-one from Qwest would bother to do anything about it until it began making phantom 911 calls (we canceled service), and on and on.
But it looks as though I'll be setting off soon. By Sunday. Every thing's still packed and waiting, and the positive aspect of this little sojourn is that I've reinforced my attitudes and my motivation is higher than ever, although of course I'm fighting the 'comfortability' of familiar surroundings.
Time to vent.
I've gotten emails from a few people who have chastised me for coming back here so soon. Remember however how easy it is to judge some one else's actions wile sitting in your own comfy chair! It's obvious that to some people this is reality TV, and I get that. However, this isn't fabricated drama written to increase viewership or solely provide entertainment. If I wanted to keep producing that shit, I'd have stayed in radio and be eating much better!
The tricky thing about publicly documenting this is that you have to be careful whose insight you value and learn to take the opinions of the others with a smile. I always ask myself how much the 'Reality Show Couch Critics' are putting out there, and rather they'd welcome the same type of critique in their own lives if their ideas were laid open for the world to see.
No. Of course not! They be indignant! It's easy to criticize someone else's work when you're doing none of your own, eh?
I saw this coming because Chris went through similar stuff on his trip. It's the problem with the anonymity of email and the illusion that you're reading some fictitious travel- novel, or watching some fluff- piece on the Travel Channel. I welcome opinions, don't get me wrong. But, I'd encourage you to offer something personal from your own life up for critique if you presume to dissect mine. Or at least be constructive and offer some original insight as a companion to 'opinion'.
Feeling a bit defensive today, ain't I?
On that note, I REALLY should have left early Monday morning!
I've had a chance to contemplate a lot of things over the past few days through the "Sweet Perspective of Melancholy". (How dramatic!) It's pretty apparent to me that, despite what YOU may think about my Interlude, this trip is going to define much more than I even realized- and this is a big part of it.
The prospects of returning to Santa Fe after this is 'done' seem smaller than before. Shalain's adapting to and preparing herself for that; something I sensed even before I left Denver the first time. No one can blame her for that, and I'm GLAD she is! She's growing roots into the High Desert, and it seems as though mine are slowly being pulled from amongst the sage. She says that she noticed the 'feeling alive' part (previous post)of my short little adventure so far, and she expects this to last much longer than we'd discussed, or I even expected.
This coming from the woman who saw my Epic Bike Tour last 3 days! And most of the other plans I've made over the past 4 years fall to oblivion.
She also seems to think that in the end I'll return to Denver, while she has NO intention of leaving here. I want to argue, and I rightly point out that nothings been decided but my contradictory arguments are prefaced with: 'You may be right- I've thought about that'.
Sometimes people just grow apart, and the realization that you want different things is tough to digest, especially after seven years. I'm afraid that this may be exactly what's happening, and this is the crescendo of our personal overture that's been building since August, 2004.
"I told you!!"
Shut the hell up. Or I'm coming to live with you and I'll offer uninformed commentary on what YOU should do!
But, things can change. I've been a testament to that gospel many times since 5/20.
If this does happen, and we go our separate ways, I'm glad it was done in the right way. Not out of anger which is usually the case, but out of a mutual respect for what each other wants out of life and what we believe their lives should mean. We both want what's best for the other person AND ourselves. For that I'm glad. Now we'll see how this plays out indefinitely...
As for the next chapter on the road, I've begun to consider going east again... WAY East. Florida to see my daughter. US 17 is a great road in E. Georgia and S. Carolina that's runs closely to US 1- which takes you all the way through Maine. Then there's New Hampshire/ Vermont and a road that runs along the Hudson River into Mass. Then maybe Chris's friend Gus could be added to my ever- growing yet non- existent list. I believe I'll probably figure out a way to get to I-40, and take stock and follow my Indian name I was given while, of all things, I was working as a carnie: Runs With the Wind.
What a great story that was... maybe I'll pass it along sometime. I mean really, how many of you have had a spiritual experience as a traveling carnival worker in New Orleans?
Anyone? Anyone? Dyson? Anyone?
Labels:
Jimmy,
Runs With the Wind
Monday, June 2, 2008
5/30- 6/2: Denver- Santa Fe; An Interlude
June 2
Santa Fe, NM
I woke up on Chris’s couch at about 1:30 Friday feeling quite hungover. It’s not that I drank THAT much, but obviously have next to no tolerance; a good thing. I stumbled around for awhile, then after Chris woke up we just lounged around for an hour or so then walked to Dazbog’s and Barracuda’s so he could drop off the rest of the tip for our waitress from the night before. Who DOES that? Friar Chris does.
He had a meeting to get to, and I had 330 miles to drive, so I left his place and walked to the car, drove back to his place to pick up the pack and hit the road. I finally left Denver at about 5:00.
The drive was nice. It was about a perfect day, and even the 5:00 traffic seemed to cooperate as I headed down I-25. I hadn’t really thought about it, but having the time to reflect on the last 10 days alone in the car was nice. I realized I hadn’t really accomplished much, relatively speaking, but it was an important step. I now have some confidence, and know more about where I want to be or, maybe even more importantly, where I DON’T want to be. I reflected back on my mind- set before I’d left and realized that I had definitely felt ALIVE for the last week and a half; something I mostly hadn’t felt since last summer when we moved to New Mexico. The beauty of the Front Range was intoxicating too, especially in that state of mind. I love Colorado; never gotten sick of being there.
I turned off I-25 at my familiar spot in Walsenburg, and started down US 160 just north of the Spanish Peaks and headed toward La Veta pass and eventually Ft. Garland where I head south toward Taos and home. The sun was setting, and even if I could create a day, I wouldn’t change anything. Warm, blue skies, and the setting sun shining hues of red onto the mountain sides.
I of course was questioning the wisdom of heading home so quickly, but whenever I’d think about that I have to credit myself with the fact that I WOULD have taken any ride headed toward California! I broke camp with Fresno as my goal, but as is seeming to be the case more often than not, my plans never seem to be realized. Improvisation is the method of choice, and since I got a ride to Denver I could now return the car to New Mexico so Shalain wouldn’t have to gather it later on. That really is significant, although it wasn’t part of my thinking when I left Rawlins!
I got back to Santa Fe at about 11pm, and was glad to be out of the car! Saturday was pretty uneventful, although I must confess it was nice to relax. I also realized that one of the Santa Fe Library branches is staffed by hippie- Nazis! When I left the library, there was a bright, shiny object sitting stationary in the southeast sky. A funny looking thing that seemed to have a glimmer to it; obviously inside the atmosphere but NOT moving from its position. It also appeared to have a dark spot in its center. Nothing like it do I remember ever seeing. Of course, we all know what the explanation was that night on the news. Weather balloon!
Sunday was another lazy day in a sense, but I did begin to process more experience v. the philosophy. I wrote a whole diatribe that I was going to publish here, but decided against it. Instead, I'll just post a fraction of it, and save the rest for later on. I also noticed myself getting a bit comfortable here; the same as I did in Glenwood Springs. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I may need to set one rule when this continues this week: the Two Day Rule. I think that's plenty of time anywhere, and after that I begin to adapt too well to my surroundings. We'll see how that goes!
I've decided to leave again either Tuesday or Weds. I've not 100% decided which direction to go yet, but am edging toward I-40 going west. I'm a bit intrigued by Okalahoma, and keep eyeballing the Chama river north of here toward Colorado, but I think I've spent enough time up there.
Things here have been nice for the last few days, and have noticed a sense of calm about myself; a sense of calm that NEVER lasts! I'm soaking up the atmosphere, and beginning to gear up mentally to leave again. I'll let you know how that goes!
Thoughts over the past few days:
Rules and expectations are a funny thing. Especially other people’s.
I resolved to have no rules; be beholden to no one’s expectations but my own. Did I expect to be back in Santa Fe after 11 days? Of course not, but if there are no expectations other than living and experiencing the freedom of the road; riding with fate; why question it? It would be easy to compare other people’s experiences and judge my actions accordingly, but I’m not trying to re-live anything or emulate anyone. I’ve heard the ‘Into the Wild’ comparison a lot, and there are some similarities there when it comes to an innate disgust of a corporatist of society, yet I’m not nearly as rigid in my personal expectations and methodology. I’ve been asked ‘What are you running from?’ several million times and the answer is... expectation, servitude, and someone else’s ‘program’. I want to find my own answers to life and where I see it going rather than simply accept the ‘answers’ I’ve been given. Indoctrinated with. I believe these ‘answers’ are bullshit, and I want to find the truth. There is more to life than economic servitude. Working to attain material status. Produce, consume, repeat. That’s the point: escape from this Matrix of Materialism in search of the truth of existence. Pretty heady stuff, and I’m not kidding myself in believing I’ll ever find all of these answers. The truth of one’s existence has been sought after since Joe Caveman stumbled onto fire. Enter religion. I simply believe it’s the one thing that each person should seek out independent of doctrine, ‘social norms’ and the expectations of the “Ministry of Standards & Practices”: family, friends, education, institution, and especially the media and it’s golden image of ‘success’ that’s portrayed in every single frame of every single broadcast.
Styx’s ‘Grand Illusion’: “They show you photographs of how your life should be- that’s just someone else's fantasy...”
Think about it next time you watch something. Your told what you should look like, how you should talk, and what & how much ‘stuff’ you should have to be ‘happy’, ‘comfortable’, and ‘successful’! Who defines happy? Comfortable? Especially ‘successful’? What the hell IS 'Normal'? And who benefits when these are defined FOR you? Surely not the investment banker with four boats, a huge house, and an emptiness in his soul the size of Montana that he can’t fill with his Capitalist Achievement Badges.
I’ve also been fighting a battle with self- doubt, ego and my own self- perceived arrogance for a while now. Quite a potpourri of traits! It’s sometimes hard for me to accept that I’m actually RIGHT, and the personal responsibility that comes with it. I have a tendency to seek out people who seem smarter, and are more accomplished and ‘educated’ than me in an effort to actually prove myself WRONG. Yet, with almost NO exception, these people always disappoint. I have to take them right back off that pedestal and every time it happens, it reinforces the conclusions I’ve already come to and I’m quite straight- forward in saying so. If that makes me arrogant, so be it. I’ll be the first to let you know when someone enlightens me! Friar Chris tends to think I have a low opinion of myself, believe it or not and thus battle arrogance AND self- doubt at the same time. Talk about duality!
I’ve come to the conclusion that’s because we’ve been engineered to believe that we ‘ordinary’ people are incapable of accomplishing anything of substance. That greatness is only attainable by the truly ‘great’. Those who have been deified by the culture as flawless: those who have been “Santa Claus-ified”! We’re led to believe that if you’re not perfect, you should just give up because we’re unable to change or offer anything, or to live an ideal. Martin Luther King is a perfect example, and one I use a lot. Here’s a guy who probably accomplished more in the 20th Century than any other American, yet he was besieged by self- doubt and was a flawed human being! He cheated on his wife regularly! He wasn’t a Saint in any sense of the word, but he progressed his people and offered hope and inspiration in a way that no one else could. It just astounds me that MLK was plagued with self- doubt and depression! How could he doubt his cause? Lincoln: depressive. Jean Jacques Rousseau, an architect of the French Revolution: manic depressive. I can relate to this, and understand, to a degree, where it’s coming from. It’s that inner sense that ‘something’s wrong’ and either being unable to decipher what it is, and/ or change it. An inner- struggle for singularity of mind and body: bringing the vision to reality.
I’m convinced that there are literally millions out there that just know instinctively that something’s amiss, but can’t explain it. They just ‘feel’ inner turmoil and the wounds of that battle manifest themselves in depression. These people may the truly ‘blessed’ ones because they are part of the evolution. Oftentimes, but not always, they are scorned as alcoholics, addicts, derelicts who refuse to conform for, apparently, no reason. Their minds receive a frequency that they can’t quite tune- in and it causes a disquiet: White Noise of the Mind.
They’re all over.
They simply have this ‘feeling’ that they’re afraid to talk about. That ‘something’s coming’. Something devastating, but natural and inevitable. I’ve had that since I was a tiny kid, and I meet random people who after a brief conversation, their eyes light up in understanding when I mention it. It’s like “YES! I’m NOT crazy??”.
I’ve heard a lot of mention of the year 2012, and the Mayan calendar. The Theocratic/ Fundamentalists in Christian society will poo- poo the notion as utter foolishness; blasphemy!: that nature could POSSIBLY correct ITSELF! Yet, these same people clutch desperately to the idea that there’s an All- Powerful Man- Like God sitting on his throne in the sky watching everything we do; keeping score so that he’ll know who’s ‘good enough’ to live in ‘Paradise’! Seems a bit short- sighted to me, and borderline hypocritical. It seems to me that nature has a funny way of righting itself when things become unbalanced. If you doubt there’s a lack of balance in the world today try to find a clean river to drink from, or a spot that’s not been polluted either with chemicals or someone’s inconvenient trash.
It seems that with all the technological ‘progress’ we’ve lost many of the skills and most of the knowledge our ancestors had. And forgotten how to relate to each other. With every technological dependency comes a loss of skill. Try calling a friend without your cell- phone in tow. Grow some food. Build your own shelter. Could you even build a little fire if the bundle of firewood wasn’t provided to you? We’re pretty much at the mercy of technology. Without it: prey.
A lot of thoughts and reflection this weekend. As I told Dennis on the ride to Glenwood Springs, I believe that all the answers begin within. It’s a cliche’, but a good one. Once you begin to listen to and BE HONEST with YOURSELF about who you are, what you think, and what you want, the answers will slowly begin to present themselves. It’s a mother being honest with yourself, because there’s no one there to challenge your clever, witty little rationalizations; YOU have to! Yet the only way out is brutal honesty: truth. If Gandhi swore by it, it’s good enough for me! Yet, even trying it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But alas, waiting for Pink Floyd's 'someone or something to show you the way’ is an exercise in futility. No one has your answers but you; trust yourself.
Wayyyy too much idle time this weekend?!?!?!
Santa Fe, NM
I woke up on Chris’s couch at about 1:30 Friday feeling quite hungover. It’s not that I drank THAT much, but obviously have next to no tolerance; a good thing. I stumbled around for awhile, then after Chris woke up we just lounged around for an hour or so then walked to Dazbog’s and Barracuda’s so he could drop off the rest of the tip for our waitress from the night before. Who DOES that? Friar Chris does.
He had a meeting to get to, and I had 330 miles to drive, so I left his place and walked to the car, drove back to his place to pick up the pack and hit the road. I finally left Denver at about 5:00.
The drive was nice. It was about a perfect day, and even the 5:00 traffic seemed to cooperate as I headed down I-25. I hadn’t really thought about it, but having the time to reflect on the last 10 days alone in the car was nice. I realized I hadn’t really accomplished much, relatively speaking, but it was an important step. I now have some confidence, and know more about where I want to be or, maybe even more importantly, where I DON’T want to be. I reflected back on my mind- set before I’d left and realized that I had definitely felt ALIVE for the last week and a half; something I mostly hadn’t felt since last summer when we moved to New Mexico. The beauty of the Front Range was intoxicating too, especially in that state of mind. I love Colorado; never gotten sick of being there.
I turned off I-25 at my familiar spot in Walsenburg, and started down US 160 just north of the Spanish Peaks and headed toward La Veta pass and eventually Ft. Garland where I head south toward Taos and home. The sun was setting, and even if I could create a day, I wouldn’t change anything. Warm, blue skies, and the setting sun shining hues of red onto the mountain sides.
I of course was questioning the wisdom of heading home so quickly, but whenever I’d think about that I have to credit myself with the fact that I WOULD have taken any ride headed toward California! I broke camp with Fresno as my goal, but as is seeming to be the case more often than not, my plans never seem to be realized. Improvisation is the method of choice, and since I got a ride to Denver I could now return the car to New Mexico so Shalain wouldn’t have to gather it later on. That really is significant, although it wasn’t part of my thinking when I left Rawlins!
I got back to Santa Fe at about 11pm, and was glad to be out of the car! Saturday was pretty uneventful, although I must confess it was nice to relax. I also realized that one of the Santa Fe Library branches is staffed by hippie- Nazis! When I left the library, there was a bright, shiny object sitting stationary in the southeast sky. A funny looking thing that seemed to have a glimmer to it; obviously inside the atmosphere but NOT moving from its position. It also appeared to have a dark spot in its center. Nothing like it do I remember ever seeing. Of course, we all know what the explanation was that night on the news. Weather balloon!
Sunday was another lazy day in a sense, but I did begin to process more experience v. the philosophy. I wrote a whole diatribe that I was going to publish here, but decided against it. Instead, I'll just post a fraction of it, and save the rest for later on. I also noticed myself getting a bit comfortable here; the same as I did in Glenwood Springs. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I may need to set one rule when this continues this week: the Two Day Rule. I think that's plenty of time anywhere, and after that I begin to adapt too well to my surroundings. We'll see how that goes!
I've decided to leave again either Tuesday or Weds. I've not 100% decided which direction to go yet, but am edging toward I-40 going west. I'm a bit intrigued by Okalahoma, and keep eyeballing the Chama river north of here toward Colorado, but I think I've spent enough time up there.
Things here have been nice for the last few days, and have noticed a sense of calm about myself; a sense of calm that NEVER lasts! I'm soaking up the atmosphere, and beginning to gear up mentally to leave again. I'll let you know how that goes!
Thoughts over the past few days:
Rules and expectations are a funny thing. Especially other people’s.
I resolved to have no rules; be beholden to no one’s expectations but my own. Did I expect to be back in Santa Fe after 11 days? Of course not, but if there are no expectations other than living and experiencing the freedom of the road; riding with fate; why question it? It would be easy to compare other people’s experiences and judge my actions accordingly, but I’m not trying to re-live anything or emulate anyone. I’ve heard the ‘Into the Wild’ comparison a lot, and there are some similarities there when it comes to an innate disgust of a corporatist of society, yet I’m not nearly as rigid in my personal expectations and methodology. I’ve been asked ‘What are you running from?’ several million times and the answer is... expectation, servitude, and someone else’s ‘program’. I want to find my own answers to life and where I see it going rather than simply accept the ‘answers’ I’ve been given. Indoctrinated with. I believe these ‘answers’ are bullshit, and I want to find the truth. There is more to life than economic servitude. Working to attain material status. Produce, consume, repeat. That’s the point: escape from this Matrix of Materialism in search of the truth of existence. Pretty heady stuff, and I’m not kidding myself in believing I’ll ever find all of these answers. The truth of one’s existence has been sought after since Joe Caveman stumbled onto fire. Enter religion. I simply believe it’s the one thing that each person should seek out independent of doctrine, ‘social norms’ and the expectations of the “Ministry of Standards & Practices”: family, friends, education, institution, and especially the media and it’s golden image of ‘success’ that’s portrayed in every single frame of every single broadcast.
Styx’s ‘Grand Illusion’: “They show you photographs of how your life should be- that’s just someone else's fantasy...”
Think about it next time you watch something. Your told what you should look like, how you should talk, and what & how much ‘stuff’ you should have to be ‘happy’, ‘comfortable’, and ‘successful’! Who defines happy? Comfortable? Especially ‘successful’? What the hell IS 'Normal'? And who benefits when these are defined FOR you? Surely not the investment banker with four boats, a huge house, and an emptiness in his soul the size of Montana that he can’t fill with his Capitalist Achievement Badges.
I’ve also been fighting a battle with self- doubt, ego and my own self- perceived arrogance for a while now. Quite a potpourri of traits! It’s sometimes hard for me to accept that I’m actually RIGHT, and the personal responsibility that comes with it. I have a tendency to seek out people who seem smarter, and are more accomplished and ‘educated’ than me in an effort to actually prove myself WRONG. Yet, with almost NO exception, these people always disappoint. I have to take them right back off that pedestal and every time it happens, it reinforces the conclusions I’ve already come to and I’m quite straight- forward in saying so. If that makes me arrogant, so be it. I’ll be the first to let you know when someone enlightens me! Friar Chris tends to think I have a low opinion of myself, believe it or not and thus battle arrogance AND self- doubt at the same time. Talk about duality!
I’ve come to the conclusion that’s because we’ve been engineered to believe that we ‘ordinary’ people are incapable of accomplishing anything of substance. That greatness is only attainable by the truly ‘great’. Those who have been deified by the culture as flawless: those who have been “Santa Claus-ified”! We’re led to believe that if you’re not perfect, you should just give up because we’re unable to change or offer anything, or to live an ideal. Martin Luther King is a perfect example, and one I use a lot. Here’s a guy who probably accomplished more in the 20th Century than any other American, yet he was besieged by self- doubt and was a flawed human being! He cheated on his wife regularly! He wasn’t a Saint in any sense of the word, but he progressed his people and offered hope and inspiration in a way that no one else could. It just astounds me that MLK was plagued with self- doubt and depression! How could he doubt his cause? Lincoln: depressive. Jean Jacques Rousseau, an architect of the French Revolution: manic depressive. I can relate to this, and understand, to a degree, where it’s coming from. It’s that inner sense that ‘something’s wrong’ and either being unable to decipher what it is, and/ or change it. An inner- struggle for singularity of mind and body: bringing the vision to reality.
I’m convinced that there are literally millions out there that just know instinctively that something’s amiss, but can’t explain it. They just ‘feel’ inner turmoil and the wounds of that battle manifest themselves in depression. These people may the truly ‘blessed’ ones because they are part of the evolution. Oftentimes, but not always, they are scorned as alcoholics, addicts, derelicts who refuse to conform for, apparently, no reason. Their minds receive a frequency that they can’t quite tune- in and it causes a disquiet: White Noise of the Mind.
They’re all over.
They simply have this ‘feeling’ that they’re afraid to talk about. That ‘something’s coming’. Something devastating, but natural and inevitable. I’ve had that since I was a tiny kid, and I meet random people who after a brief conversation, their eyes light up in understanding when I mention it. It’s like “YES! I’m NOT crazy??”.
I’ve heard a lot of mention of the year 2012, and the Mayan calendar. The Theocratic/ Fundamentalists in Christian society will poo- poo the notion as utter foolishness; blasphemy!: that nature could POSSIBLY correct ITSELF! Yet, these same people clutch desperately to the idea that there’s an All- Powerful Man- Like God sitting on his throne in the sky watching everything we do; keeping score so that he’ll know who’s ‘good enough’ to live in ‘Paradise’! Seems a bit short- sighted to me, and borderline hypocritical. It seems to me that nature has a funny way of righting itself when things become unbalanced. If you doubt there’s a lack of balance in the world today try to find a clean river to drink from, or a spot that’s not been polluted either with chemicals or someone’s inconvenient trash.
It seems that with all the technological ‘progress’ we’ve lost many of the skills and most of the knowledge our ancestors had. And forgotten how to relate to each other. With every technological dependency comes a loss of skill. Try calling a friend without your cell- phone in tow. Grow some food. Build your own shelter. Could you even build a little fire if the bundle of firewood wasn’t provided to you? We’re pretty much at the mercy of technology. Without it: prey.
A lot of thoughts and reflection this weekend. As I told Dennis on the ride to Glenwood Springs, I believe that all the answers begin within. It’s a cliche’, but a good one. Once you begin to listen to and BE HONEST with YOURSELF about who you are, what you think, and what you want, the answers will slowly begin to present themselves. It’s a mother being honest with yourself, because there’s no one there to challenge your clever, witty little rationalizations; YOU have to! Yet the only way out is brutal honesty: truth. If Gandhi swore by it, it’s good enough for me! Yet, even trying it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But alas, waiting for Pink Floyd's 'someone or something to show you the way’ is an exercise in futility. No one has your answers but you; trust yourself.
Wayyyy too much idle time this weekend?!?!?!
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