5/25: Memorial Day

I love that I spent last Memorial Day in Glenwood Springs, Colorado with Leah and her family. Memorial Day 2009 was also spent immersed in someone elses family; this time, Chris'. This year in Springfield, Massachusetts. Makes me wonder where I'll be in 2010! Guatemala, anyone?

We awoke about 11am, packed up and said our goodbyes to Gus just in time for our scheduled noon- pickup from Chris' cousin. What is quickly becoming The Great Barbecue Tour 2009 continued as Amy took us to her mother's house for an afternoon spent next to the pool with his family. It was quite a relaxing day, with Our Hero again off in his own little world. I was beginning the mental preparations for our venture west beginning the next day with Stacey dropping us off at Bash Bish State Park which is adjacent to the New York state line.

From there it was off to see Chris' father, Bill. I had always thought I would love this guy. He had taught history for decades, and from what I could gather, had a wonderful social & political awareness. Unfortunately, he has been devastated by two recent strokes. Now instead of having deep, historical & philosophical discussions, I was given a front row seat as he & Chris struggled to continue re- defining their relationship. It was not an easy thing to see and it was painfully obvious that there was much left unsaid due to an inability to put thoughts to words. I got a lump in my throat after dinner as his dad simply put his arm around Chris, silently speaking volumes. I really felt for both of them, and it again selfishly conjured up that lightning bolt of perspective relating to my own father and his family.

It struck with with a brutal, honest, stark clarity. Life is too short to handicap ourselves with fear, shame, and egoistic mind- games. So much time can be lost, and once it's gone... there's no reclaiming it. I was suddenly even more grateful that the doors between my "new" sisters and I had opened over the last few months; even if it is at this point in life. One can get consumed by an anger that may stem from "stolen time", but rather than that anger offering some measure of retribution, it simply robs us of our future. All this reflection from the simple sight of seeing an incapacitated father struggling to tell his son how much he loved him. Remarkable.

We spent Monday night at Amy's house, playing on the computer and enjoying one last night in a bed before the expedition to Bash Bish Falls. The "Big Left Turn" was upon us, and now when people asked where we were going, the answer was mine: Michigan. The only questions were "how & how long!"

5/26: Memorial Day- Glenwood Springs

DAYS 6-7

Still Couchsurfing at Leah's trying to decide rather I want to try to come up with a kayak to take the Colorado River, which is across I-70 from here, into Utah toward Canyonlands or pack up and head either west or north. I hadn't really planned on being in this part of Colorado, so I'm having to re- tool what few 'plans' I've made. I'm thinking I could get to Rifle, and walk US-6 or head north toward Craig in an effort to get toward Idaho then Oregon. I could also head due- west, but then I'm completely reliant on rides to get me thru Utah in general and maybe Salk Lake City in particular. I have no urge to deal with SLC, but must confess I'm curious to see what the people in Utah are like. Somehow I suspect they're not as 'weird' as some people would like us to think!

Sunday was spent lounging around, and taking the free- bus around Glenwood going to the thrift store and the Army Surplus to seek out some different rain- pants. Ft. Morgan made me realize that the jogging pants I brought may be a bit insufficient in the long run! I also kind of wish I had kept Friar Chris' big yellow rain hat! In the end I decided it wasn't worth the money to just get some flimsy pants, so I'll go with what I have. James went with, and he seems to know alot of people here. He splits his time between Leah's, a van, and a tent in the mountains. He also told me how to get a 'food card' from the state; 3- mos @ $160 a month- the day you apply. I'm not going to do that of course, but it struck me that the social 'services' in Glenwood, and Colorado seem remarkable. They have a day center where people can get a shower, Internet access, and even some food. The vagabonds seem to appreciate Glenwood, and it's obvious that they have a rather progressive attitude here. Because of this, I believe, while the 'alternative culture' is thriving, that's why I have yet to see ONE panhandler. It's a good place to be for those who choose to tell society where it can go.

I spent the first money ($20)on food since I left last week too. A box of 12 Cliff Bars, trail mix, loaf of cheap bread, and some summer sausage in anticipation of leaving here this morning, but the weather will be better tomorrow and I want to think a bit more about the possibility of working for a week or two to either get the kayak or add to the funds. Wages are inflated here; $10- $12 almost everywhere and Help Wanted signs too. I just don't know if I can stomach working!

Leah and Rob said I could stay indefinitely, but I'm getting itchy feet and noticing that the longer I'm here, or anywhere, I get a bit off- track mentally. I adapt to domestic- life, but then the splinter in- the- mind starts to itch. My internal compass reminding me I'm straying off- course. That's something that's always been with me and before I knew what it was, even got to the point of depression! I know there are alot of people who have that sort of "inner voice" screaming at them, but they simply can't interpret it. It's something that's there to guide you and the "Rosetta Stone" presents itself when you start to listen, rather than fight it, blame yourself, and let your indoctrination and the "Ministry of Standards & Practices" convince you that the 'flaw' is YOURS, that you're defective and need to 'get with the program'. Listen, observe, ask honest questions and you'll soon begin to realize that the flaw's not yours- it's the 'program' that needs to be 'fixed', or preferably in my estimation: ignored. Thoreau: ... but I will still make what use and get what benefit from her I can." Nothing immoral about that; the system uses you in the exact same way!

You'll either get that or you wont.

I also signed up on Digihitch.com today to try to find a possible partner. I'd love to have someone I could chat and experience stuff with, but what are the odds?!?!? Ha!

Been a pretty chill couple of days, but yeah... getting a bit restless!I may head out later this afternoon still... it's Memorial Day, so I may be able to catch a ride quite a ways with some people who came to Glenwood for the holiday, but I don't know yet. My indecisiveness is still driving me batshit!

Oh, one funny note although I'm sure they don't think so. Rob forgot to put 'Red' back in his tank Saturday night. Red is the red-tailed Boa Constrictor in the pictures. He's small... maybe 2-3 ft., and pretty harmless... now. We tried desperately to find him, but no luck. So, there's a Boa slithering around the trailer somewhere. They bought a mouse to try to lure him out... but... we'll see about that!

I keep picturing news footage I've seen:

"Next on Action News: A TWENTY- FOOT Boa Constrictor is found beneath a Glenwood Springs trailer! Neighbors had no idea it was there and the mystery of the disappearing neighborhood pets is now believed to be solved..."

Now you know how these things happen!