8/6- 8/8: Santa Fe- Ithaca, NY

After spending June and most of July sequestered away in Michigan, and then another two weeks back in New Mexico, August's arrival sent me spiraling into "do something... anything" mode. Purely motivated by a lack of divine inspiration, I took aim for the last three of the lower-48 I'd yet to visit: Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont and after a few days of mental wrangling I chose to forgo the 60-hour Greyhound Marathon to the Maine/ Canada border in favor of Craigslist's Rideshare.

Departure day was Friday the 6th with Elissa, a pleasant 60-something Latina from Santa Fe on her way to see family in Denver. She was almost the perfect Rideshare: no haggling over money, flexible on the departure, and drove fast with very few stops! It was quite uneventful, and entertaining in that I was treated to watching her drive AND smoke a bowl through Colorado Springs; skills I can only imagine!

2009: The End.

With Shelly & Lynette

The 950-mile drive from Santa Fe to Boise was a mix of mostly state and US highways that took us overnight through Pagosa Springs, Durango, and Cortez in SW Colorado then into SE Utah near Canyonlands and Moab early Wednesday morning. By midday, we were snaking thru the Wasatch Mountains, Salt Lake City, then finally into Idaho by late afternoon.

I knew how beautiful southern Utah's terrain was, having driven it in '05, but had never seen the Wasatch between I-70 and Salt Lake on US-6. I hate to admit it, especially after regularly mocking Utah, but there's something alluring about the Land of Mormon. Salt Lake City's skyline is more powerfully dominated by mountains than any other I've seen; much more imposing due to proximity than even Denver's.

Inspired by the HBO series Big Love (and boredom), I spent a good deal of time playing ad executive; thinking of slogans I could sell to Utah and Mormon fundamentalists like Roman Grant. Picturing the billboards, magazines, and radio ads, I laughed so hard I nearly lost continence. Shalain? Not so much. Meanwhile, Joseph Smith's ghost likely sensed my attitude toward his state's fledgling theocracy and, wearing no magic undies to protect me, I believe he clearly conspired with Brigham Young to prevent weatherly cooperation. We had snow nearly the whole way from Northern New Mexico to Salt Lake City. What should have been 19-hours total was already 21 when we only reached Idaho- still a solid 3-hours from Boise.

I soon found myself once again on I-84 at the infamous Albion exit... for the third time in less than 18-months. The stretch of road between Pocatello and Boise is approaching I-40 in familiarity... second only to the now-tiresome I-25! I pointed out to a politely-interested (or keenly disinterested?) Shalain some of my little landmarks from 2008 before we pulled into Boise around 8pm or so Wednesday night... exhausted... but glad we had not waited until Wednesday morning to leave, as was our original plan. We were in town early enough to get (re)acquainted AND get a good night's sleep for New Year's Eve. Despite the weather and my initial misgivings as to its wisdom, in retrospect the beginning of this winter adventure really did work out perfectly.

Coming into Lynette & Dave's subdivision naturally invoked a flurry of Warm Fuzzies from September, and it again occurred to me that this was going to be the first time either Shelly, Lynette, Dave, or anyone here had seen me out of travel mode. The last time I had seen Lynette & her family, Chris and I were strapping on our packs and heading down a barren US-20 toward Caldwell. Shalain's predicament wasn't lost on me; she had heard much about my drama's characters, but had yet to actually meet any of them. Now, she was about to be baptized by fire meeting nearly all of my new family at once! I knew they were curious about her too: "How does she put up with you doing this?" was something I was asked 100 times over the summer!

Lynette came out to meet us walking up to the door, and it was as though I had never left. I gave her a big hug, quickly introduced Shalain, then strode to the door to give Shelly a hug. Again: like I'd never left. I had to remind myself that it had been six-months since I had seen Shelly, and nearly four since Lynette. SIX MONTHS? Unreal. Ben & Brad were also there as were Dave's kids, Amanda, Mike, and Steph. The same cast as September. I kept telling Amanda & Mike I won't know what to do if I ever visit while they're at home in California. I'd miss 'em.

Now, as I mentioned, I was exhausted from the drive and lack of sleep in the days prior to leaving Santa Fe. I blame my new supplements but whatever the reason, this fatigue led to one of the goofiest and nearly most awkward moments... ever. As I was introducing Shalain to everyone, I was working very hard to keep names straight. I know everyone quite well, so normally: not a problem at all. Tonight? A slight problem! For a split-second, I lapsed Dave's name! I'm NOT proud of this, nor do I find it particularly flattering. I mention it only to submit to my sentence inside The Cone of Shame. In my defense, I was so tired that basic recall had begun to fail, and I KNEW it before hand. My radio background spared me the total in-the-moment humiliation in that I know to THINK AHEAD while speaking to be certain of what spews from my mouth. What was seen to unknowing eyes probably resembled Todd being a smartass... but I had to ask myself 3x if I got it right: "DAVE, right?? NOT DOUG? NOT DREW? Fuck! I'm losing my mind!" Sorry, Dale. My shame is everlasting.

A good night's sleep worked wonders for New Year's Eve. Lynette & Shelly took Shalain shopping while Drew(?) & I hung around the house. He had gotten a telescope for Christmas and was learning how it worked, and after he showed me some of their home improvements, he brilliantly articulated something I had been struggling with for a month. It was something to the effect of: the more you're around family that you get along with and care about, and begin to have positive drama-free experiences, the more you want it. It took awhile for that to settle in and I'm not sure if he was speaking from my perspective, his, or Lynette's but it didn't matter; he hit on a significant portion of my drive to get here.

Going back to August/ September there are two things about Dave, among others: he's insightful, and has a way of getting to the point and simplifying things with a minimum of words. The first I respect. The second I admire because it's something I struggle with. I've become quite fond of "that husband of hers," and will be quite certain to challenge Ward & The Hens on their chosen scapegoat. Oh! my silliness! Ward & The Hens! Sounds like a Dukes of Hazzard spinoff. Or, Hugh Beaumont porn. Consider it trademarked; my intellectual property.

From there, Dave cracked open a new can suggesting that when I'm "done with this," Shalain and I move to Boise. Shelly intends to move back there from Ohio sometime over the next year, so considering how little I like/ much I hate Santa Fe, it's worth considering. In fact, back in October Shalain and I discussed moving to Portland in order to be closer to everyone. I cannot stress enough how foreign it feels having, "move CLOSER to family" rattling in my skull!

The positive energy between Shalain, Shelly, and Lynette was immediately obvious, and continued the "at-ease" I had felt in September; it was obviously not a fluke. All was well. All that was left to do Thursday... was ring in 2010! Food was prepared, and more importantly Dave was mass-producing his famous Rum Runners.

**Quick story about the Rum Runners that I've yet to tell: These concoctions are so good, that while at another friend Dave's, the harbormaster in Portland, I was taking pictures of a yacht entitled the 'Rum Runner' in order to pay homage to Sir Fogg's Wagon-Killer Brew. I was literally taking this picture when Andre and Cody sailed the MasterCraft in, and the Portland Adventure began. They're just that good!**

Stephanie and her boyfriend, Stewart, joined us as did Lynette & Dave's neighbors, Mike, Wendy, and Bailey. The drinks flowed and the food fed as we played a game of Apples to Apples before taking the party across the street for a game of Rock Band on X-Box. Having been deeply scarred by drunken karaoke a decade ago, I abstained. But, my sisters and girlfriend are apparently repressed rock stars. Never shy, Lynette took to the role of what can only be described as a cross between Belinda Carlisle and Axl Rose: singing the Go-Go's Our Lips Are Sealed while yelling at her band to, "get it together." Video exists. It's taken great restraint to keep it contained, and is now secured within a bank vault in Manhattan. Shalain has applied great pressure to release it to the world, but despite that I stand firm. Honor me.

This reminds me: I also repelled great temptation induced by Stewie, Steph's boyfriend. He spent the evening trying to coerce me to smoke and break my noble & righteous vow, but verily! I steadfastly refused. Despite slanderous claims that it was I asking for a cigarette, I am proud to say that due to my steel resolve in rebuffing The Stew, I have proudly hit the 8-week mark smoke-free. Also, a new hand-to-hand challenge from Young Ben was accepted, and while details are hazy at best, I'm happy to say that the young apprentice was once again easily vanquished by Ye Strong Arm of Errantry, again despite despicable, vile rumors to the contrary. Honor me! (When exactly did I become Lancelot?)

Stewart & Steph

While Axl and her Go-Go's were reminding us all of garbage bag attire, Dave was taking odds on whether she'd see midnight. He wasn't convinced. At 9:30, she was a rock 'n roll tour-de-force; there was nothing stopping her and it became clear to me that Lynette and I could be trouble if the sun and stars happened to align beneath the banner of Bacardi or Blue Moon. By 11:00 she was in the fetal position- at home, asleep. I shook my head out of an odd sense of genetic familiarity, laughed, gave her a peck on the cheek, and wobbled back over to the Snyder's to welcome in 2010.

Shelly & I

As the new decade commenced, poor Mr. Snyder or someone mentioned politics to me... while I was drinking. Yeeaaaah... That should trigger Civil Defense Warnings. Eh, Chris? I'm surprised Shalain didn't just bust a champagne bottle over my head to quiet me, but some of her anecdotes involve Brad and Bailey (Mike's daughter) counting how many times I used the f-word. It appears that Mike, Wendy, and I were probably in agreement on most everything, but that's never stopped me from drunken-arguing before! Right, Chris? Dave hit it on the head the next morning, gleefully telling me that he "saw a side of me he'd never seen" in this drunken, nonsensical, circular political "conversation!" Guilty. But, I think it was a backhanded compliment; he seemed to imply that I usually make sense! I've intentionally tried to avoid the political/ social discussions around these folks in an effort to benefit them from the mistakes of/ with others! Right, Chris? But dammit... sometimes that ranting little fucker breaks free. How do you discipline an unruly, chemically dependent pundit-child? I honestly have no idea how long Mike, Wendy, and I stumbled around inside the politics/ religion (that too *cringe*) maze. I do recall having a terrific time, and considering Mike accepted my Facebook friend-request, I guess I didn't piss him off too much. That's a blessing... and always a good sign. Not all my acquaintances, or even friends, survive these! Right, Jason?

Over the last couple weeks of '09, and as midnight approached, I thought back to last January several times- when Chris and I were pondering what we thought the year would look like. From NYE '09 in Denver to NYE '10 in Boise, 2009 was exactly what it should have been, and more. I don't know what I would have changed, other than the distancing of Pam and not meeting Skip. I do regret the faded relationship with Pam in the grand scope because we are closely connected whether we like it or not. Nothing can change that. And, Mike's enough of a brother!


2009 in a nutshell:

- The Veggie Bus
- Kim and the Cops in Tennessee
- Trent and Megan in Chesapeake Beach, MD
- Chris and I making our way by foot and thumb from DC to Lewes, DE
- The Beach in New Jersey
- The Corbin Cafe
- New York City
- Massachusetts to Michigan with Stacey.
- Meeting and spending most of June with Shelly, not to mention meeting my brother Mike & his daughter Ally, Ben & Brad, Travis, seeing my father for the 2nd time AND reconnecting with all my friends in Michigan after 10-15 years. Maybe the most relentlessly intense 5-weeks of my life.
- The week at the Iowa 80 & King Dirk.
- Learning about and processing Dennis's death. The eternal 5-hour ride.
- Devils Tower
- Leslie & Carthage, SD
- Joel, Don, Grand Forks, Williston ND
- Meeting Lynette, Dave, Mike, Amanda, & Steph in Boise
- Andre
- Port Townsend
- Meeting Amber
- Housesitting, selling the car, and PROCESSING PORTLAND
- Quitting smoking
- New Year's in Boise

And, this is just the inadequate cliff-notes version. Thanks to Chris, Bobby, Devin & Leif, Brian & Joey, Gus, Lauren, Mandela, Cody, Wendie, Katie, Fast Joe, and everyone else who made 2009 what it was! I wish I could list everyone, and as usual I wish I would have stayed in touch with more people. Maybe next year?

Wendy, Lynette, Dave, & Bailey

NYE Snowstorm

5/30- 31: Hillsdale to Hillsdale (almost!)

Chris & I broke camp around mid- morning and were soon in Hillsdale, NY where I found myself having fun with the new found mobile picture feature on my phone. I knew Hillsdale was going to play a key role in my Michigan Adventure, and loved the thought of the last town out east having the same name. I'm not difficult to amuse.

We got some time at the library, then found the Hillsdale Country Diner where we enjoyed some good food, people watching, conversation, and cell charging. We lingered quite awhile before retiring to the public park across the road where Chris made phone calls while I wrote & listened to music.

Stacey arrived a bit earlier than expected so we were all on the road toward the Hudson River with a lot of daylight still ahead. She hates interstates and insisted on taking state roads, which suited us fine. We had our reunion with Lucy the Dog and commenced down route 23 toward Oneonta, where Chris happened to be born. We made a quick stop at the hospital for a picture, then he called his mom for directions to his very first house.

Oneonta was neat. I was thinking that, even for a college town, there were some astoundingly beautiful women there! It is also a quick 20- minute drive from Cooperstown where the National Baseball Hall of Fame is located and, had I been alone, I probably would have walked there to fawn over at the exhibits... again!

It was rather late when we finally joined Route 7 toward Binghamton. We chose it because it runs adjacent to I-88 and I planned to drive through the night to make a little time when Stacey inevitably fell asleep. Just as we were discussing the driver switch, we passed something you don't see nearly enough: a FUNCTIONING, packed drive- in theater! They were showing the new Star Trek which both Chris & I had seen, but we had loved it and were eager to see it again... if the cost was reasonable. When we pulled in to ask the price, we just kept going as there was no one taking cash! The movie was just 20- minutes in, so we quickly parked and figured out the radio frequency while exclaiming how "cool this is!" over and over.

After the movie Chris continued driving because we had discovered Stacey had lost a headlight, thus eliminating any possibilities of me driving at night. The two of us chatted while Stacey slept, and eventually broke off Route 7 near Elmira where we quietly slipped into Pennsylvania. Near the town of Mosherville, we fiddled with the idea of stealth camping, but with the car it proved to be folly. We elected instead to continue on, and once on US-6, it wasn't long before long my visions of being pulled over by a bored patrolman proved correct. Chris was stopped, warned, and quickly waved along with a warning- without so much as a glance at Stacey and I. It's amazing how little interest they have in arbitrary ID- checks when the traffic stop is "audio and video taped", as he was required to disclose.

Once the sun came up Sunday morning, it was time for a breakfast stop at a park inside the Allegheny National Recreation Area. Lucy had a wonderful time running free while we ate, chatted and took pictures. The clouds held little promise for a nice day, so Stacey chose to proceed on as far as we could instead of finding a place to camp after driving all night. It just seemed odd to camp at 8am!

Soon we were approaching Ohio and my mind was is racing in high gear. I had managed to grab a few precious winks and the idea of driving while everyone slept appealed greatly, so drive I did, stopping at a church next to the Ohio state line on route 84. We reclined in the grass beneath what had now become a sunny sky and just relaxed/ goofed around for a bit before continuing toward Ashtabula.

Ashtabula is in the extreme NE corner of Ohio on Lake Erie. Chris and I joked that we hoped the lake wasn't burning today as we found a nice vista point for Stacey. Then it was time to rejoin our old friend US- 20 which came to Ohio all the way from Springfield and continued on very close to Shelly's place in Delta, OH. By Cleveland, we had begun to discuss our options. I held out hope that Stacey would be able to get us all the way to Hillsdale, MI just so I could title this post "Hillsdale to Hillsdale", but she understandably wanted ample time to meander back to Massachusetts. My friends Brian & Joey were expecting us in Kalamazoo soon, but hadn't really had enough information to make any concrete "plans" (ha!). In the end, we left Cleveland aiming for Delta. That seemed the best for everyone because Stacey could immediately begin her return, from a closer distance, and Chris and I would have a place to organize. My only reservation was that this seemed an odd way to meet a sister! After some thought however, it became apparent that this was probably the perfect way for HER to meet me!

I had insisted on avoiding Sandusky completely. I have some not- so- flattering memories of this town on the lake that is the home to Cedar Point; an incredibly cool amusement park. It's also happens to be the incredibly cool amusement park where the events transpired that had cost me my radio gig in Kalamazoo, back in 2002! Not that losing that job was a bad thing in ANY sense, I just didn't want to be reminded of it! Chris, on the other hand, had other ideas, and he was the navigator. When we switched seats on the outskirts of Sandusky, I quickly realized that he was taking me not only INTO Sandusky, but he had managed to pick an exact route that would take me right by the bar where some of these "events" took place! How the fuck did he DO that?

Toledo was next, then it was a quick 20- minute drive to Delta and Shelly's house. I suggested we stop at a Subway to clean out the car and gather our things, but in reality I needed a cigarette and to mentally prepare. It's not everyday that you meet a sister you've known about for 30- years...