5/26- 28: The Big Left Turn

Bash Bish Falls State Park, MA


Following the morning Internet, we were in Stacey's Subaru on our way to the Verizon store then presumably to the park which borders the Massachusetts- New York border. The "plan" was to hang out there for a day or two... or ten... then hit the state highways thru New York hitchhiking, train hopping, or whatever, for a meeting with Shelly in Delta, Ohio on or around June 13th.

Shelly had arranged her schedule as such to maximize her time off while I was in the area so we could spend as much time as possible together, take a few day trips to meet family members, and possibly even have a get- together with Daddy Dearest. I figured nearly three- weeks was plenty of time but if needed we could catch a Greyhound to Erie or Cleveland, where Shelly had said she could pick us up.

From the beginning of the trip, Chris and I had both commented that, like the trip east from Santa Fe, we both felt the distance from Massachusetts to Michigan would be covered quickly, but this Tuesday morning we were resigned to the idea we would be back on the road & in the bivies. Our "plans" were once again made a mockery, this time by Stacey.

While Chris was haggling with Verizon, Stacey and I were chatting in her car when literally out of the blue she commented that she had already arranged her schedule to have four consecutive days off beginning the following Sunday and that she had done so to give her an opportunity to "go somewhere." Why not go to Michigan? I initially thought she was kidding, but I was quickly learning that Stacey wasn't the type to "kid"; she was dead serious.

Once Chris finished his business, this new "plan" quickly took shape, and it suited every one of us. On the drive thru western Massachusetts towards Bash Bish Falls, we tentatively decided to reunite Saturday and take a leisurely drive toward the Great Lakes. Meanwhile, Chris and I could vanish into The Berkshires for a few days and just detox from society. Chris needed that after the intensity of his past month, and I was mentally gearing up for everything that was in- store for myself. Based on what I had seen happen with Chris, disappearing into the "mountains" to prepare for a few days greatly appealed to me!

After a nice hike to the base of Bash Bish Falls, that's exactly what we did. Disappear. We crossed a river and wandered into the undeveloped, and undisturbed wilderness to find a place devoid of clues of recent human activity. We quickly found the perfect spot, built a fire, and just tried to "be" for a few days. It was fantastic. Our little camp kept us completely isolated from Tuesday afternoon until we broke camp on Friday, seeing absolutely no one. No one that is except for a killer frog that gave both of a us a "Vern Moment." I mean, the fucker was vicious!

While the setting was perfect, the weather wasn't. It began raining Tuesday night and continued on and off thru Thursday... mostly on. With the natural canopy over head, we had some shelter from the brunt of it, but enough rain came thru Tuesday night for me to realize that I had made a grave mistake in the "Minimalist Bivy" from REI. Despite their claims that it was "waterproof", my sleeping bag got soaked. While quite resistant to water, is was nothing approaching "proof." I had meekly suggested building some sort of shelter before the rain had begun but laziness, again, punished me. With few breaks in the rain on Wednesday, I was going to have to deal with a damp bag. Shelter was obviously Priority 1 Wednesday morning and, with two huge green tarps, it was easy to tie them off to two trees and stay dry and snug.

We had a reprieve from the rain for most of Thursday and by Friday we were ready to leave our little Walden to connect with Stacey & confirm our planned Saturday pickup. I thoroughly enjoyed my time out in the woods, and the rain managed to accentuated it. I used the opportunity to practice building fires in the rain, which we had every night, and to refine the shelter making. We also began to process everything and discuss how events were fitting in the overall scheme. With the "Big Left Turn", Chris' phase was ending, and I could feel myself becoming a bit more assertive. Growing weary of being the passenger and impatient to get to my own stuff. Bash Bish was the perfect spot for this transitional period, and exactly what I needed. I was also happy to be heading west again, and even cautiously optimistic about the prospects for Michigan- the latter being no small thing.

5/25: Memorial Day

I love that I spent last Memorial Day in Glenwood Springs, Colorado with Leah and her family. Memorial Day 2009 was also spent immersed in someone elses family; this time, Chris'. This year in Springfield, Massachusetts. Makes me wonder where I'll be in 2010! Guatemala, anyone?

We awoke about 11am, packed up and said our goodbyes to Gus just in time for our scheduled noon- pickup from Chris' cousin. What is quickly becoming The Great Barbecue Tour 2009 continued as Amy took us to her mother's house for an afternoon spent next to the pool with his family. It was quite a relaxing day, with Our Hero again off in his own little world. I was beginning the mental preparations for our venture west beginning the next day with Stacey dropping us off at Bash Bish State Park which is adjacent to the New York state line.

From there it was off to see Chris' father, Bill. I had always thought I would love this guy. He had taught history for decades, and from what I could gather, had a wonderful social & political awareness. Unfortunately, he has been devastated by two recent strokes. Now instead of having deep, historical & philosophical discussions, I was given a front row seat as he & Chris struggled to continue re- defining their relationship. It was not an easy thing to see and it was painfully obvious that there was much left unsaid due to an inability to put thoughts to words. I got a lump in my throat after dinner as his dad simply put his arm around Chris, silently speaking volumes. I really felt for both of them, and it again selfishly conjured up that lightning bolt of perspective relating to my own father and his family.

It struck with with a brutal, honest, stark clarity. Life is too short to handicap ourselves with fear, shame, and egoistic mind- games. So much time can be lost, and once it's gone... there's no reclaiming it. I was suddenly even more grateful that the doors between my "new" sisters and I had opened over the last few months; even if it is at this point in life. One can get consumed by an anger that may stem from "stolen time", but rather than that anger offering some measure of retribution, it simply robs us of our future. All this reflection from the simple sight of seeing an incapacitated father struggling to tell his son how much he loved him. Remarkable.

We spent Monday night at Amy's house, playing on the computer and enjoying one last night in a bed before the expedition to Bash Bish Falls. The "Big Left Turn" was upon us, and now when people asked where we were going, the answer was mine: Michigan. The only questions were "how & how long!"