8/17-22: New York to Idaho- Doug

In a shitty spot and contemplating camping possibilities as the sun fell, I was having no luck when a 4-door Toyota with Vermont plates appeared out of nowhere, abruptly pulled over on the narrow shoulder, and waved me on. When the ragged driver asked where I was going I said, “Toward Erie” and when he shockingly replied, “no problem” I suddenly knew I would make it to meet my brother and, barring any ridiculous complications, Idaho and Oregon. Aim for Maine, land in Oregon? I am the sharpshooter.

Doug was quite tall, about my age, had longish curly hair, famiiar cheap monotone clothes, and judging by all the stuff, which included a large cardboard box full of open food cans laid out buffet-style, was traveling somewhere distant and gave an initial hippie impression. That generalization was woefully mistaken, but he would prove to be a powerful reminder of our ingrained, unavoidable duplicity. Doug had the rare combination of being supremely arrogant, full of anger, and at the same time painfully awkward. Assessments aside, it quickly became obvious that Doug was brilliant and suffered from the stereotypical social deficiency that often comes along with it. In many ways, he reminded me of a genetically engineered splice of a Slabber and the guy from Big Bang Theory!

8/17: Elmira and Corning, NY

When Tuesday dawned, I was far from certain about getting to Ohio for the week’s-end rendezvous with my brother. Casey & Julia had dropped me in a great spot as far as shade, camping, and a truck stop. The problem was no traffic! It reminded me of '08's Mormon Black Hole near Pocatello!

By 9am, I had broken camp, repacked, returned with water & coffee, and hoped to quickly pass Elmira, which Julia had aptly described a bit “shady”; a vibe I’d noticed both with Alex and in ‘09 with Chris & Stacey. It seems the best of Elmira's attributes is that it is a gateway to either New York or Pennsylvania!

8/16: Tioga Center, NY- The Good, Bad, and Bizarre

Monday’s 6am alarm never had a chance to ring, deferring instead to the ominous chimes of thunder at 5:45. The skies had offered a temporary reprieve, so I hustled to re-pack and sprint out of the woods to the truck stop to ride out what seemed to be impending dramatic weather. The morning’s weather would prove to be an accurate thumbnail for the day!

Two hours, three pots of coffee, and a steak-and-eggs breakfast later, the storms had skirted Central Square, the camera, cell phone and I all had a full bellies, and a all seemed prepared and ready for a day-long push toward Binghamton then east toward Erie & Cleveland. My hope was to find a cannonball all the way thru Syracuse right away. When Liz pulled over (another single woman!) 10-minutes later in what appeared to be her combination commuter/ farm vehicle, it seemed to be a modest uneventful 10-mile start to the day.

8/15: Central Square, NY- About Face

I’d first heard about Oregon on Friday. It wasn’t until I knew their departure date that I seriously considered trying to making it happen. If I wanted to, I had a week to turn tail and get from extreme northern New York to Ohio, where I hoped Michelle would pick me up and help me to catch my stage west.

Subconsciously, I knew what I was going to do all along. I have the short-bus habit of quietly making quick, rash, often foolish decisions, then acting out the drama to appear as though I’m anguishing with the already completed process. Often, I even Don Quixote myself into believing I’m still trying to decide. I really hate this tendency!

8/13: Alex Bay, NY- The Asscrack Incident

Wanting to avoid pesky park rangers and potential problems for Gus, I was packed and nearly ready by 7:30 when to my surprise Bill showed up and invited me to stay at his site for the day or weekend to relax and nurse the blister. I was quite impressed with Keewaydin State Park and more than happy to accept!

8/12: Alex Bay, NY

Interstate Forest

Waking up, the first thing I noticed was that the heat and humidity had mercifully relented. Second: I was becoming efficient and streamlined! I'm not sure which I was happier with, but both combined for a good start to the day! Even so, matching Wednesday would prove difficult but early-on, Thursday felt like a old, comfortable pair of shoes. I was back with my old friend Interstate, this time I-81, and within 15 minutes of joining him I was northbound.

My first ride was, surprise, single woman! A rarity indeed! Elaine was a no-nonsense Mennonite, continuing the religious theme, in her 30’s, and had absolutely no problem letting me know who she was or what she thought. She knew exactly where she was taking me... rather I liked it or not.... conveying in clear, concise terms that she knew best. I liked her! (In this limited dose!)

8/11: Mexico, NY

Dave

Rather than risk the toll road, I decided to just go around Syracuse, first via Route 14. Initially, I thought this was a mistake because of the odd vibe sitting on the side of the road! But my first (nameless) ride came quickly, took me the eight to 10 miles up the road in Lyons, and after that I was fine and this would-be interesting day was underway.

8/10: Trumansburg- Moscow, NY

Monday night’s deluge gave way to Tuesday’s sun... and its accompanying humidity! For most of the morning, I organized, repacked, and lingered in the woods trying to recall how to function out of a backpack and contemplating my route north. I could either follow the more scenic, but rural/ touristy, road along the shores of Lake Cayuga, or turn west toward Trumansburg and Route 96.

8/9: Ithaca & Taughannock Falls, NY

Although I'd spent only two of the previous nine weeks at home, Monday morning's all too familiar comedy-of-errors was a stark reminder that my pack had been little more than an extravagant suitcase since late-March! That was about to change. As I showered, methodically packed and re-packed, and finally walked out of Buttermilk Falls State Park toward Ithaca's mysteries, I expected to be cursing my own stupid, out-of-practice "mistakes" as much as anything! Thinking back to Santa Barbara '08, I chuckled knowing it was sure to continue for a short time then thankfully pass!

8/6- 8/8: Santa Fe- Ithaca, NY

After spending June and most of July sequestered away in Michigan, and then another two weeks back in New Mexico, August's arrival sent me spiraling into "do something... anything" mode. Purely motivated by a lack of divine inspiration, I took aim for the last three of the lower-48 I'd yet to visit: Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont and after a few days of mental wrangling I chose to forgo the 60-hour Greyhound Marathon to the Maine/ Canada border in favor of Craigslist's Rideshare.

Departure day was Friday the 6th with Elissa, a pleasant 60-something Latina from Santa Fe on her way to see family in Denver. She was almost the perfect Rideshare: no haggling over money, flexible on the departure, and drove fast with very few stops! It was quite uneventful, and entertaining in that I was treated to watching her drive AND smoke a bowl through Colorado Springs; skills I can only imagine!

5/30- 31: Hillsdale to Hillsdale (almost!)

Chris & I broke camp around mid- morning and were soon in Hillsdale, NY where I found myself having fun with the new found mobile picture feature on my phone. I knew Hillsdale was going to play a key role in my Michigan Adventure, and loved the thought of the last town out east having the same name. I'm not difficult to amuse.

We got some time at the library, then found the Hillsdale Country Diner where we enjoyed some good food, people watching, conversation, and cell charging. We lingered quite awhile before retiring to the public park across the road where Chris made phone calls while I wrote & listened to music.

Stacey arrived a bit earlier than expected so we were all on the road toward the Hudson River with a lot of daylight still ahead. She hates interstates and insisted on taking state roads, which suited us fine. We had our reunion with Lucy the Dog and commenced down route 23 toward Oneonta, where Chris happened to be born. We made a quick stop at the hospital for a picture, then he called his mom for directions to his very first house.

Oneonta was neat. I was thinking that, even for a college town, there were some astoundingly beautiful women there! It is also a quick 20- minute drive from Cooperstown where the National Baseball Hall of Fame is located and, had I been alone, I probably would have walked there to fawn over at the exhibits... again!

It was rather late when we finally joined Route 7 toward Binghamton. We chose it because it runs adjacent to I-88 and I planned to drive through the night to make a little time when Stacey inevitably fell asleep. Just as we were discussing the driver switch, we passed something you don't see nearly enough: a FUNCTIONING, packed drive- in theater! They were showing the new Star Trek which both Chris & I had seen, but we had loved it and were eager to see it again... if the cost was reasonable. When we pulled in to ask the price, we just kept going as there was no one taking cash! The movie was just 20- minutes in, so we quickly parked and figured out the radio frequency while exclaiming how "cool this is!" over and over.

After the movie Chris continued driving because we had discovered Stacey had lost a headlight, thus eliminating any possibilities of me driving at night. The two of us chatted while Stacey slept, and eventually broke off Route 7 near Elmira where we quietly slipped into Pennsylvania. Near the town of Mosherville, we fiddled with the idea of stealth camping, but with the car it proved to be folly. We elected instead to continue on, and once on US-6, it wasn't long before long my visions of being pulled over by a bored patrolman proved correct. Chris was stopped, warned, and quickly waved along with a warning- without so much as a glance at Stacey and I. It's amazing how little interest they have in arbitrary ID- checks when the traffic stop is "audio and video taped", as he was required to disclose.

Once the sun came up Sunday morning, it was time for a breakfast stop at a park inside the Allegheny National Recreation Area. Lucy had a wonderful time running free while we ate, chatted and took pictures. The clouds held little promise for a nice day, so Stacey chose to proceed on as far as we could instead of finding a place to camp after driving all night. It just seemed odd to camp at 8am!

Soon we were approaching Ohio and my mind was is racing in high gear. I had managed to grab a few precious winks and the idea of driving while everyone slept appealed greatly, so drive I did, stopping at a church next to the Ohio state line on route 84. We reclined in the grass beneath what had now become a sunny sky and just relaxed/ goofed around for a bit before continuing toward Ashtabula.

Ashtabula is in the extreme NE corner of Ohio on Lake Erie. Chris and I joked that we hoped the lake wasn't burning today as we found a nice vista point for Stacey. Then it was time to rejoin our old friend US- 20 which came to Ohio all the way from Springfield and continued on very close to Shelly's place in Delta, OH. By Cleveland, we had begun to discuss our options. I held out hope that Stacey would be able to get us all the way to Hillsdale, MI just so I could title this post "Hillsdale to Hillsdale", but she understandably wanted ample time to meander back to Massachusetts. My friends Brian & Joey were expecting us in Kalamazoo soon, but hadn't really had enough information to make any concrete "plans" (ha!). In the end, we left Cleveland aiming for Delta. That seemed the best for everyone because Stacey could immediately begin her return, from a closer distance, and Chris and I would have a place to organize. My only reservation was that this seemed an odd way to meet a sister! After some thought however, it became apparent that this was probably the perfect way for HER to meet me!

I had insisted on avoiding Sandusky completely. I have some not- so- flattering memories of this town on the lake that is the home to Cedar Point; an incredibly cool amusement park. It's also happens to be the incredibly cool amusement park where the events transpired that had cost me my radio gig in Kalamazoo, back in 2002! Not that losing that job was a bad thing in ANY sense, I just didn't want to be reminded of it! Chris, on the other hand, had other ideas, and he was the navigator. When we switched seats on the outskirts of Sandusky, I quickly realized that he was taking me not only INTO Sandusky, but he had managed to pick an exact route that would take me right by the bar where some of these "events" took place! How the fuck did he DO that?

Toledo was next, then it was a quick 20- minute drive to Delta and Shelly's house. I suggested we stop at a Subway to clean out the car and gather our things, but in reality I needed a cigarette and to mentally prepare. It's not everyday that you meet a sister you've known about for 30- years...

5/29: New York State

It took us a short while Friday morning to make the final decision to make our way toward the little town of Hillsdale, New York. It was a short 5- 7 miles from Bash Bish, and since we had gone thru there with Stacey on Tuesday, it would be an easy pick- up point for Saturday. It was also finally a nice day so it seemed like a good idea to get on the road.

Maybe a mile down the road, we crossed from Massachusetts into New York and Taconic State Park. This part of the country is gorgeous, and a total joy to walk thru. It was also an area that Steven Newman had glowingly referred to in his book Worldwalk. For once the excessive, colorful metaphors fit!

Once to the hamlet of Copake Falls (it's an actual hamlet!), I made the mistake of buying a pack of cigarettes. I had gone nearly two- days without smoking, but rationalized the purchase by telling myself I "wanted" them rather than "needed" them. The patches were working fine and I could have quit at that point, but I failed my very first test... miserably.

After charging the cell phone and lingering lazily at Taconic State Park, we made our way slowly up Route 22 toward Hillsdale. Along the way we decided to pop in to a roadside greenhouse to see what kinds of fruits we could find. Not only did I find the cherries I was craving, but also some interesting people.

We struck up quick conversations with a couple employees who offered to let us loiter beneath their gazebo and enjoy some relaxation. Before long, Keith stopped over taking a break from his duties at the greenhouse to see what we two oddities were up to. Keith was a new father who lived behind the North Mountain Nursery and Farm Stand and worked there with his father. We learned that his dad has owned land near Las Cruces, New Mexico for years, but never seen it beyond Google Earth! When the conversation turned to social issues I learned that Keith was quite informed, passionate and a bit of an anarchist. I liked him immediately. His views about the future of our floundering republic are in line with mine, so we spent much more time at this little oasis in the Berkshires than anticipated.

When we finally resumed after swapping email and Facebook info, I was continually struck by the beauty of this place. Small mountains, streams, forests... it was like a postcard and exactly the type of terrain I had hoped we'd get to wander through at some point. At least we had 5 or 6 miles of it.

We had touched base with Stacey earlier in the day and arranged to call her the following evening to set up a specific spot to meet where we would begin our jaunt across New York, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. Since we had the entire day to kill, we stopped a mile or two short of Hillsdale to camp. I had a little fun with my Facebook friends from here, adding an update saying that I was "camping just south of Hillsdale." It was obviously the truth, but I intentionally left them thinking Hillsdale, Michigan; the next town over from my hometown. It was funny for a few minutes, but eventually felt like a jackass. I believe this may have deeply scarred my friend David...

5/6: Manhattan

We caught the late morning train back to Penn Station and had lunch with Chris's friend, Stephanie. They had gone to SVA together, and been roommates for awhile. She lives in Brooklyn and works as a video editor for a midtown advertising agency, which means she edits TV commercials for a living... and hates it... claiming it's "killing her soul". I liked her immediately! We seemed to have a lot in common, although I chose not to explore this common hatred in any depth. They were having fun reminiscing over "award winning" grilled cheese, and I was content to mostly listen and watch people. I would come to find that People Watching is one of the great joys of New York City. I had heard that before, but for the love of Christ!, you just can't help it.

SVA was nearby, so from this swank restaurant the three of us were off on a brief, nostalgic tour of ye old stomping grounds. They showed me a couple of their favorite spots and old apartment before Stephanie had to, grudgingly, get back to work.

From there Chris and I began making our way toward Soho, where he had more friends to seek out. Along the way we took a casual stroll thru NYU's campus, where Chris imparted unto me the crucial knowledge that "NYU girls are easy." Thanks Chris, good to know... now. From there it was a slow stroll toward the subway, and eventually Soho.

I really liked Soho. We stopped into one of his old coffee shops from years ago where he was warmly, if not psychotically, greeted by an old customer who recognized him. She also had named, and was chatting with Mike- a bird in the tree.

Craig's coffee shop was next, a few blocks away but still in Soho. What struck me about both of these shops were how old and tiny they were. They couldn't have been more than 10 or 15 ft. across. Not the kind of place you'll write the phantom screenplay while drinking coffee to be seen.

Craig's place was staffed by an extremely attractive young lady, so we got coffee and sat outside on a bench to take advantage of the view while waiting for a call from his friend Margo. Chris had mentioned that Craig's "thing" is acting, and that he's been on CSI a number of times. I would rather be gang raped by rhinos than watch CSI, so I didn't recognize him at all when he eventually came by. Another interesting tidbit on Craig: on 9/11 he was standing in front of his shop when the first plane flew directly over his head just before hitting the WTC.

From Craig's we decided to stop in to a little bar called Milady's. It was only a couple blocks away, and we figured we could have a beer while we continued to wait for Margo's call. Chris had arranged to have dinner and/ or drinks with Ingrid later on in the evening, and we had now begun contemplating just calling it a city and heading back to Jersey after we'd finished. Chris called Ingrid and set an earlier time and a place on the Upper West Side to have drinks. In the interim, we decided to just stop in to see Margo for a quick hello, figuring he could come back the next week if he missed the sit- down. We grabbed another train, and headed to Wall St., and then the WTC site as it was approaching 5:00.

This was the first time I had been to Ground Zero in the daylight. It never ceases to silence me as I quietly look up to the now- empty skyline and replay the images long since burned into our psyche. The planes. People jumping. The towers falling. Policemen. Firefighters. The tidal wave of dust & debris swallowing the streets. Thoughts race, but none have to do with patriotism. It's the definition of "heroism"; how it has nothing to do with an athletic field or a television production. It boggles my mind to see the hole in the earth, nearly 8- years later, and think that 3,000 people died here, yet commerce and real estate values mandate our collective values: something simply MUST be built. I see the pile of rubble, still smoldering, in my mind. I hear George Bush making love to his megaphone. Then Dick Cheney giving his WMD proclamation followed by the images from Abu Grahib. This place is a magnet for me, yet obviously not for the reasons our handlers would like. Ground Zero both saddens and enrages me. This is the place that the world, yes, but my country in particular- changed. It's the place that America, at least the idea of it... died. The very spot where America became Amerika.

As we tried to walk the perimeter, I found a crack in the fencing that exposed the entire substructure, and the thing that they'd like to sell you as "The Phoenix Rising from the Ashes": The "Phreedom" Tower. On the spot where so many freedoms were obliterated. And not by the planes. As I saw the sight of this "Phreedom" Tower taking its embryonic shape, I think I may have vomited a bit in my mouth.

From the WTC site, it was a nice subway ride north to the Upper West Side, Columbia University, and Ingrid. Ingrid is Chris's ex- girlfriend, and his travel partner on the first part of his cross country walk. He freely admits that he ran her off, so I was eager to meet her! For whatever reason, I had very low expectations. Yet, the same had been true of Bill & Laura and the theme would continue; I greatly enjoyed her!

Their travels and relationship had ended, as best as I can decipher (and remember thru the drunken haze) from Chris's refusal to slow down and just enjoy the walk. He has been openly conscious of this while we've been out here, so no big revelations. I laughed when she told me she was amazed, and happy that I "had gotten him to slow down" because she couldn't. It's nothing I've done, but I got a kick out of it.

Beyond their past, Ingrid was interesting in other ways. She is another of the Philosophy/ Psychology double- minor types with which I love to have coffee driven conversations. She is obviously brilliant, and if we had had more time, and not been drinking, the chats would have been priceless! I mean, hell... she mentions Sartre on Facebook!

There were other people in this little bar near 115th and Amsterdam. Her boisterous, and annoying (to me) 20- year old friend, Perri and the poor guy she was stalking. She probably annoyed me because she's 20 more than anything! There was also Kwami, a guy who was quite interested in our travels, loved my hat, and was happy to tell us all about ourselves.

I had forgotten that NYC bars close at 4am. We started drinking at 9. Do the math. Ingrid, however, had a hookup at the bar so, although we were drinking the whole time, we spent next to nothing. Thank fucking God... that could have been horrific.

We had long since decided, again, to stay at Ingrid's, and I slept nicely on the most comfortable of yoga mats.

5/1: Escape to New York

I'm always amused as to how a bed feels after sleeping on the ground for a stretch. One of mankind's best innovations- no doubt.

We slept in until around 1 then slowly put our things together while Wendy cooked up a huge, unexpected breakfast. "Ham, eggs, bacon, toast, juice- in the Age of Swine Flu!", I laughed. I guess swine- product acquisition would be a bit more difficult, not to mention travel to/ from Mexico, if it were an actual threat and wondered to myself how soon it would be until it was yesterday's news.

The steps thru Tuckahoe were retraced and after a mile we were back to terra incognita, still on route 50, trying for Mays Landing by Saturday. Not exactly an example of elaborate goal setting, since it was maybe all of 10- miles. The weather was cool and cloudy for the most part, with hints all afternoon that we'd be dumped on eventually. The walk was quite nice, stopping at a little greenhouse for apples and grapes, then a nice conversation with Liddy the Horse. We had ultimately given up hitching New Jersey. Occasionally, Chris would throw out his thumb, but more out of habit than anything. At this point, we were ready for Saturday's pick- up, and were just sauntering down the road until it arrived.

At about 4:30 and half- way to Mays Landing, we had stopped for a break when Chris's Mom called to say that plans had changed. She wouldn't be able to come. This sent us into a flurry of improvisation. As Chris put it, we had grown smitten with the notion of being in New York by Saturday, so I quickly called NJ Transit to get bus- info on Mays Landing- Atlantic City, and learned that we had just under two hours to catch the last one that night. It was nearly 5- miles yet, so we'd need to get off our asses and walk a steady clip, but had about enough time. Then the skies finally decided to open up.

As I was prepping Elmo for the Mays Landing Sprint, I looked over and saw a minivan pulling off. We had not even come close to getting a ride in the entire state, and NOW, when we really needed it (and had decided to 'just get to NYC'), we had one? My immediate, and brilliantly insightful reaction: "Are you fucking kidding me?" Thankfully, the driver missed that display of wordsmithiness.

Next to college co-eds, this was the most unlikely of rides. The driver was a single woman in her 50's or 60's, and they rarely stop, out of fear. Especially for TWO passengers. I thought this was quite remarkable on her part, as did she, and I finally understood why when she said, "Something told me to turn around and pick you up!" The line I had heard repeatedly last summer. She then credited Jesus directly, as though Chris and I provided the Saviour hours of entertainment. Hi, Jeebus!

In the excitement of the moment, and the drastically changing scene, I never thought to ask her name. In fact, I said very little at all. I had wisely deferred the front seat to Friar Chris, letting him handle this little theological exchange, which of course he was happy to do.

Our new friend was a lovable, happy, joyful mother of three grown sons, one of whom is a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan. She reminded me of one of my oldest friend's mother and was obviously a very devout Christian and happy to hear about new thoughts and ideas; as long as she was allowed to re- frame then proudly re- display them within her religious context! I have learned not to actively engage religious dogmatists, and was taking great joy in watching Chris try! He would share some of his spiritual ideas, and I would then see her twist and manipulate these thoughts into her brand of fundamentalism! It was great fun. I was giggling to myself quietly as we sped up route 50 in a downpour.

Along the way, I had managed to get her to offer to take us another few miles, to Egg Harbor City and the NJ Transit train station. Here we'd have a few more options to get to Atlantic City. I really enjoyed the ride, and the conversation I was privy to. It reminded me a great deal of last year and what I had so far, for the most part, been unable to replicate in 2009.

Arriving in Egg Harbor City, there was a train just pulling in, so we quickly said goodbye and a thousand thank yous, then hurried up the platform. The train said "Philadelphia", and before I could look for Atlantic City schedules, Chris was making his way toward it... and Philadelphia. It wasn't like I had anything better to offer, and I liked the idea of smelling Philadelphia's distinct stink again, so we were quickly headed west by train, rather than east by bus. My kinda trip!

When finally seated on the train, we had a few moments to at least partially process what the hell had just happened. This had the same feel as the day we had been sprung from Maryland thru Delaware. The 45- minute ride to Philly was spent reflecting a great deal on this, and writing.

Our apparently related chain of events continued to play out after we arrived at 30th St. Station. We had a 20- minute wait for the Amtrak to Manhattan's Penn Station, then once in the city, another quick 20- minutes for our last train back under the river to his mother's house in New Jersey.

The few minutes in Manhattan were remarkable in a few subtle ways for me. I had another of those kick- ass "look where your day started" moments as I thought back to waking in Wendy's RV just few hours earlier. I also had fun tinkering with the metaphysics of how things had changed so dramatically once we had seemingly decided to "just get to New York." There was obviously a connection between Denton and Mays Landing, although I had no idea what it was. Finally, we had now been on the road nearly 3- weeks, and were coming into this, planned, extended interlude. Things had felt weird, and often a bit forced at times. This down- time came at a good time. I needed to reset my mind, reflect, and evaluate; the old "personal inventory". In the months leading up to leaving, I hadn't been able to do that since I was forced to halt the personal writing I'd been doing a few years.

In the end, I'd have plenty of time to figure it out...

8/30/05: Upstate, NY- Amtrak 1

Between Syracuse & Rochester, New York

On the train, still processing everything that's happened over the past six-days. I've had an number of the "here I am" moments, most strikingly in Nashville. More today in New York City, then further up the Hudson. This trip will be one of my fondest memories; exceeded all expectations. I have all but decided to pursue Asheville for at least the winter if I can put it all together. Everything points that way. Every practical angle. I just cannot see myself remaining in Denver, although returning next spring is possible. My only concern is that of perspective. Returning and re-entering the rut. AGAIN, something awoke on this trip. Something dormant, and it was easier this time. Is that the draw? Knowing that something that is dormant is desperately needed?

I'm enjoying the train ride. Seeking out, or at least looking for people; peers/ comrades. Like minded folks. People to learn from. Someone to add something. Living life; not letting it pass. "Everything works out." Lessons? Many. Of this trip in particular? Not sure I can verbalize. One possible Celestine Prophecy example: a woman in the lounge car. I came down here hoping to meet and chat with her. I didn't. I instead ignored her in favor of my writing! What if I had done that with Sarah? None of this happens. Each person in a potential portal to something great. I'm slowly learning this, and realizing/ remembering that the general good in people always outweighs the bad. Even my examples of "bad" have either taught me something, or led to other people. Danny, for example and by default (and after a degree or two of separation) led me here. Where else? North Carolina? I am indeed at a wonderful crossroad. I have to protect against old thinking, and the return of fear. Put the lessons to work, rather than learning them in theory only. The next 36-hours [on the train] need to be used to bolster my confidence & resolve. That HAS to come from me- no one else. Start within, and all that jazz. Map your own path.

Always answering my own questions....